Not The Girl Next Door
by Ruby Rosetta Red
Summary: A future fic. Set about ten years into the future. Ryan bumps into an old friend. Second character is my own. Character Death. My first O.C fic. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This is my first ever O.C fan fic, so apologies for any errors, plot holes etc etc. It's huge so i'm posting it two chapters at a time. Please read and comment if you have anything to say, and please be nice.

**Not The Girl Next Door: **

**Chapter One:**

The heels of her shoes echoed loudly on the hardwood floor, the sound bouncing off every available surface, or so it seemed. She stopped and turned around in a slow, small circle and allowed the memories to flow through her. The Bait Shop, once upon a time it had been the most happening place in Newport Beach where the youth of Orange County hung out several times a week. It had been closed down for a long time now but Kate had plans for this place, big plans. She was going to completely renovate and refurbish and reopen.

But right now it looked like a glorified refuse dump, with empty and broken bottles littering the bar and the tables, overturned decrepit furniture, dust a foot thick. She'd sneezed two or three times not five minutes after entering the place. All she saw was potential, it screamed out to her and for the first time in a long while she felt excited.

She walked along the sidewalk, taking in the ambience of the small community. A small but predominantly wealthy community. After all of this time she still felt like an outsider here, though everyone in the whole wide world seemed to know all that there was to know about her. he'd returned to the hell of her senior year but she refused to let the memory of it intrude right now. She had left with a backbone, determined to make it in the world and she had. Now she was back. It was the height of the tourist season, the beaches were busy with holiday makers, the marina full to bursting with avid summer sailors and the sidewalks heaved with more sun seekers, who, like she, window shopped and enjoyed the warm sunshine that always seemed to bless this part of the world.

She paused in front of the small townhouse, set back from the oceanic vista. She looked down at the address on the small business card that announced the building to be "Cohen and Atwood, architects" in small elegant black lettering. There was a brass plaque screwed into the white painted wall that proclaimed the same name. Cohen and Atwood? Surely not. There was only one Atwood that she was familiar with and she hadn't seen him for a long time, not since she'd left for pastures new. But an architect? It took her a second to absorb that nugget of information. She refused to believe point blank that the Cohen in question was his best friend and wannabe comedian Seth Cohen. She took a deep breath. There was only one way to find out. She pushed her way through the glass and bronze doors. Only one way to find out.

The interior breathed elegance. For a second she was dumbstruck and stared around at the clean lines and huge windows that allowed the Southern Californian sun to pour through. Above her fans rotated lazily, cooling the lobby to an acceptable level. She looked around again and saw the blue prints of past projects framed on the walls along with photographs of those projects brought to life.

"Excuse me. Can I help you?" a polite feminine voice intruded from behind and Kate turned her head. Tall, blonde and polished, she had 'Newport Princess' written all over her. The girl's pure blue eyes widened as she recognised her.

"Aren't you Kate Carpenter?" Kate should've been used to the recognition by now but it always felt like the first time to her and it always felt uncomfortable. She just nodded and the girl, she couldn't have been more than nineteen or twenty and a trust fund princess in creation, smiled.

"I love your music…you're very talented. Is it true that you're from around here?" Kate nodded.

"Yes it is" The girl's eyes rounded. Then she seemed to remember where she was and a veil of professionalism that belied her tender years dropped into place.

"Do you have an appointment Miss Carpenter?" she enquired and watched Kate shake her head.

"I don't, but the firm came highly recommended" she explained as she followed the girl to a desk and watched her open a huge leather bound diary.

"Mrs Cohen is out of town on business at the moment, but Mr Atwood is free. Perhaps you'd like to talk to him?" Nerves butterflied in Kate's stomach as she opened her mouth to reply.

"What's going on Kerry?" a lazy sounding voice intruded and both women turned to its source. Kate's breath caught in her throat. There he stood, in the doorway, his shoulder propped up against the jamb. Ryan Atwood.

**Chapter Two:**

Ryan was bored. Inspiration was playing cruel mind games with him today and he wasn't in the mood to sit and brood and make himself miserable. It was a beautiful day outside and he had been on the verge of calling it a day and heading home but had stopped when he'd heard Kerry's voice. Intrigued, he'd peeked his head out of the door and straightened when he'd recognised the tall blonde standing with his receptionist. Kerry had turned, his diary in her arms and she'd smiled at him, but Ryan couldn't take his eyes off her companion. Kate.

"Ryan?" her voice rose in surprise. It had been that Atwood after all and a smile briefly illuminated her face. He allowed a smile to flash across his face as he walked towards her. His heart was pumping in his chest, unable to believe that she was actually here.

"Kate! What are you doing here?" Briefly they hugged before separating. Kate just stared at him. He'd filled out some since high school though his hair was still a burnished tousled shade of gold; his eyes still that unfathomable shade of navy blue.

"I bought the Bait Shop Ryan and I'm looking for someone to renovate it. Interested?" he looked into her eyes, scanning her face.

"I could be. Want to come into my office and talk about it?" At her nod, he indicated his open door and watched her walk through it before turning to look at Kerry.

"Hold all my calls" he instructed and followed Kate inside.

"So, will this be a business venture or are you planning on staying here?" he enquired as he closed the door behind him. Kate turned from the huge picture window that offered an unrivalled view of the beachfront, of those perennial tourists below.

"Don't you read the newspapers anymore Ryan? I'm staying here," she confirmed. She watched him, standing across from her, he wore a light blue shirt, collar undone, tie long discarded, cuffs rolled up to the elbows. A far cry from the jeans and t-shirt persona of his teens. He pushed his hands into the front pockets of his trousers and regarded her.

"Really? I didn't expect to see you again, after the massive success you've had…"

"It was time to get out while I still could," she told him. He walked towards her.

"You loved your music, you lived to sing," he reminded her, as if she needed reminding in the first place. She sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

"Not anymore" and she turned to look back out of the window. Ryan stared at her back for a second.

Ryan could only stare at her in mild disbelief. He would never have imagined that Kate Carpenter would be standing in his office as large as life. She looked coolly elegant in blue jeans and a tight fitting white buttoned shirt. Her long hair was left around her shoulders and she looked just the same as the last time he'd seen her, the day she'd left Newport Beach to follow her dream.

"You can sit down if you like. Can I get you something to drink? Coffee, mineral water, soda?" he enquired and she turned and looked at him. She shook her head, flashing a quick smile at him before sinking down into the leather chair opposite his desk. She looked around his office, the smile slowly returning.

"You've done well for yourself," she told him and he glanced at her, not sure how to take it. She was watching him, still smiling a bit.

"And you could never take a compliment. You have, it's great to see you doing something you love," he shrugged and sat down behind his desk.

"Who's the Mrs Cohen that your receptionist mentioned? Don't tell me Seth got married?" Ryan just regarded her.

"Well he's married but she doesn't work here. No, it's Kirsten," he told her and watched her eyes widen marginally.

"She left the Newport Group?" she breathed and Ryan slowly nodded.

"After her dad died she quit and started her own business. She took me on fresh out of college, made me a partner two years ago" he'd been determined to pay his own way into the partnership and they were business partners, fifty-fifty, straight down the middle. Kate absorbed the information supplied to her silently.

"And business is good?"

"Business is great. You were lucky to catch me in today, normally I'm out and about, checking on our projects" Kate glanced towards the window; the sunshine seemed to beckon her. She looked back at him.

"Call me forward if you like, but how about grabbing an early dinner? I can show you what I hope to do with the Bait Shop and you could come up with some ideas and we could take it from there?" she suggested. Ryan followed her gaze.

"We could do that. Want to go now?" he stood up and Kate followed suit. She watched him cross the spacious office and unhook his jacket from an old-fashioned hat stand that occupied one of the less cluttered corners. He shrugged it on and turned to look at her.

"Let's go"

He followed her out of the office and Kerry looked up in surprise. Kate saw her glance at her watch and got the impression somehow that Ryan leaving the office at the usual quitting time wasn't a regular occurrence. The younger girl stood up as Ryan paused by her desk and she handed him a sheaf of messages. Kate stood by as Ryan quickly sorted through them, handing some of them back to Kerry, promising that he'd deal with them first thing in the morning. A couple he pushed into his jacket pocket.

"Where do you want to go for dinner?" he asked her as they emerged onto the sidewalk. Kate looked at him.

"Why don't you choose?" she suggested and Ryan smiled, rolling his eyes.

"It was your invitation Katie," she shrugged, touched that he remembered the old nickname that she'd only given him permission to use.

"I don't know what's good here anymore, you're the local boy"

"Not really. I'm a Chino boy remember? Folks around here may commission my firm for business but they've never let me forget where I came from," he muttered darkly. Then he smiled, chasing the dark clouds away in an instant. Kate regarded him. She slipped her hand into his and squeezed it lightly.

"Then we're two outsiders together. I'm sure you could recommend somewhere" he looked at her, still holding onto her hand. Her eyes were a vivid turquoise blue, fringed with thick dark lashes. Was she wearing any make up? He honestly couldn't decide. He flashed her a smile.

"I'm sure I could think of something,"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** If it's in italics, then it's in flashback :)

**Chapter Three:**

_The Bait Shop was busy and that was saying something. Ryan pushed his way through the heaving bodies. There was a band playing. Seth hadn't mentioned who was performing tonight but then again, he could have but for Ryan it went in one ear and out the other. He was pretty oblivious, wasn't a big live music fan, not to the extent that Seth was. But whoever these were, they were creating quite a buzz judging by the amount of people watching them. A blonde girl, about his age he guessed, held the microphone and sang into it with unnerving professionalism. She wore faded jeans and a black singlet top, thick silvery blonde hair tumbling around her shoulders and down between her shoulder blades. Her skin was pale, with rose hued cheeks that he thought had nothing to do with make up and more to do with the heat of the lighting. She had the type of voice that honestly sent a shiver down his spine. And he, like countless others stood and watched._

"_So this is where you disappeared to? Jeez, the queue at the bar was terminal, I almost died of thirst… here" he felt a cold plastic cup being pushed into his hand and he automatically gripped onto it, still unable to tear his eyes away from the girl on stage._

"_Did you hear me? Holy Mother of….who is that?" Ryan turned his head slightly, but not his eyes._

"_I have no idea. Who's the band playing tonight?" From the corner of his eye he saw Seth shrug._

"_No clue bro'. Maybe it's an open mike night," Ryan grimaced. That would work. The girl opened her eyes and Ryan straightened slightly though unaware of doing so. Her eyes were almost turquoise blue, an eerie shade that he was sure he hadn't seen before. Her song drew to a close and the audience's appreciation was loud. The girl smiled shyly._

_A while later and her set was over. She had money in her pocket and a sense of satisfaction buried deep in her soul. Singing was her life, and all going well it was going to be her career. Nothing else interested her in the same way, though her mother's idea of 'doing well' was an advantageous marriage to the son of some well-heeled and equally well-oiled executive. Not if she could help it, the first opportunity she got, she was out of here. She didn't intend to be anyone's trophy wife. She took a sip of her soda and surveyed the crowd. Her last weekend of freedom before school. And a new school at that. Harbor High. It was a ridiculously expensive academy of learning that her stepfather had enrolled her into. Apparently acceptance into the school, coupled with good enough grades was enough to get her into any college in the country, Ivy League if she wanted it hard enough. College didn't interest her but she didn't dare tell him that. The fact that Marshall Cole was her stepfather creeped her out enough as it was. She glanced at her watch and gasped. She was late and her mom would go crazy again. She dumped her drink onto the bar and began to push her way through the heave of bodies. A hand grabbed her wrist. She turned her head. Just what she needed, a surfer boy who couldn't handle his beer. He reeked of the stuff and she doubted he was old enough to indulge._

"_Hey, where are you going? It's early," he protested. Kate tried to pull her arm away but instead his grip tightened and he tugged her towards him. _

"_Nowhere with you buddy, now let go of me," _

"_Don't you want to have some fun with me?" his alcohol-laden breath threatened to turn her stomach. She frowned._

"_Which part of no don't you understand?" she drawled. _

"_Don't be such a bitch," Kate felt both angry and a little bit unnerved at the same time. Control, she had to be in control. She opened her mouth to reply but instead a hand appeared, it wrapped itself around the surfer boy's wrist._

"_She said no dude, just leave it at that and let her go," the low, male voice intruded. Surfer boy stared petulantly at his new opponent._

"_Mind your own business man, I saw her first!" he protested. Kate turned her head and looked at her rescuer. He was a couple of inches taller than she was, shaggy blond hair, intense eyes and, as he tightened his own grip on surfer boy's wrist, very impressive biceps._

"_I'm asking you nicely to let go of her arm," he told him, staring at him in a way that sent butterflies off in her stomach. A tense few seconds passed and then blessed relief as the surfer boy realised he was going to get absolutely nowhere and let go. Kate sighed. Her blond rescuer looked at her, a frown marring his brow._

"_You okay?" as she nodded, she saw movement from surfer boy from the corner of her eye. Her eyes widened._

_  
"Look out!" she yelled. She watched him turn his head, see the fist come flying and duck. It passed over his head. He turned in reaction and swung a powerful right hook that made a solid connection and his opponent went down. He turned and grasped Kate's upper arm gently._

"_We're getting out of here," he told her and led her out._

_The night air was cool as they emerged. He looked over his shoulder and they kept on walking. Kate paused and pulled her arm out of his grasp. He also stopped and looked at her. _

"_Thanks for getting me out of that jam but I can handle myself," he looked at her._

"_I'm sure that you can but you looked as though you needed a little help in there, he wasn't going to let go"_

"_I would've persuaded him," she assured him and he gave her a look as if to say 'yeah, right'. He then turned his head and saw more people emerging from The Bait Shop and his eyes widened marginally._

"_It's time to go," Kate also turned her head and recognised the surfer guy who this time had two or three of his best surfer buddies accompanying him. He saw them, pointed and yelled. Kate grabbed her companion's arm._

"_I'm parked not far away, let's go," and together they ran. _

_He dived into the passenger seat and Kate pulled away with a screech of tyres, laughing out loud as their pursuers stopped running and stared after them in utter frustration, screaming a variety of obscenities. Beside her, he smiled, gasping breath into starved lungs. He could only watch her as they sped away, the breeze tugging her long blonde hair backwards. She was beautiful and utterly fearless. She glanced at him._

"_You okay Blondie?" she enquired. He managed to smile._

_  
"I should be asking you that. What's your name?" she glanced at him again and smiled wickedly._

"_I'm Kate. And you are?" there was something almost regal about the way she asked. He grinned._

"_Ryan…Atwood," he answered._

**Chapter Four:**

"I can't believe that you bought this place," Ryan stood in the centre of what had been the dance floor area and looked up at the high ceilings. Beside him, Kate smiled.

"I know. But this place meant a lot to me back then. I started here and when I found out it had been closed and earmarked for demolition, I knew I couldn't allow that to happen," she followed his gaze upwards.

"So what are you going to do with it?" she looked at him and then smiled softly.

"Open it up again. The interior needs completely redesigning and as I said, your firm was recommended to me" he looked at her.

"We tend to take on new projects from our own designs, new homes, business complexes, stuff like that"

"I thought you'd be in the market for renovation too. Aren't you a little bit curious?" a faint smile crossed his face.

"Kind of," he admitted. They just looked at each other. Kate looked into his eyes. She'd learned early on that to know what Ryan was thinking, she had to concentrate on his eyes. He bottled his emotions up so completely that the only way to find out what was going on in that head of his was to look into those eyes. More often than not she'd figured him out, but she was starting to think that maybe that had been just a knack she'd had back then.

"Just kind of? Those eyes of yours are telling me an entirely different story Ryan," she murmured. He looked away for the briefest of moments.

"You could always do that," he muttered and then looked back at her. He sighed.

"Let me get back to you with some ideas, okay?" she just nodded, still watching his face. He moved away from her to concentrate on his surroundings.

"This place does have potential though," he agreed.

It had grown dark by the time Kate locked up the premises and dropped the bundle of keys into her purse. Ryan stood and watched her, his hands in the pockets of his trousers. She looked at him.

"Where are you staying?" he asked as they began to walk. He watched her tilt her face to the breeze and breath in, a smile on her face. She then looked at him.

"Not at the house if that's what you're wondering. No, I'm staying in a hotel for the moment, I'm still looking I'm afraid," Ryan paused, a frown on his face.

"You're not staying at the house? Why not?" Kate stopped and looked at him.

"Because I sold it the first opportunity I got. That place was never my home and the hotel suits my purposes just fine," she explained patiently. He nodded and she looked at him, the way the breeze teased at his hair. He had kept it slightly longer than convention allowed and she wondered whether it still felt the same. Suddenly the breeze whipped several strands of her hair across her face and before she could react, he'd reached out and gently moved them out of the way. His fingertips were tender against her skin and she could only look at him. He stared right back and Kate grew a little more frustrated that that seemed to be all he was going to do. He didn't wear any jewellery, no wedding band, just a watch. It didn't mean that there was no significant other in his life.

"I'll walk you to your hotel," he told her.

"You don't have to,"

"I want to, so don't argue with me," she sighed and just smiled.

He stood outside the door to her hotel suite. Kate noticed that yet again his hands were in his pockets.

"Thank you for being such a gentleman," she told him as she unlocked her door. He just shrugged. She pushed the door open and turned her head to look at him.

"Want to come in? I could order up some coffee? We could talk about the Bait Shop project" she invited. He shook his head.

"It's late, I'd better be getting home," she turned more fully around to look into his eyes. He was nervous and she wondered what about.

"Someone waiting for you there Ryan?" he paused.

"I'm…not married," he replied.

"Not ever?" he shook his head. It was too big a jump for him to take. Sure he'd had his share of relationships, some long, some not so long but he'd never felt the inclination to share his life with a significant other. He liked his independence, always had and always would.

"Same here…" she answered and a puzzled frown crossed his face.

"I thought you were engaged to…"

"Press hype. We were friends, nothing else," she interrupted. Ryan just nodded slowly.

"It's okay, you don't have to explain yourself to me, it's none of my business," he murmured and Kate smiled at him.

"I'd better get inside. Will you call me when you make a decision?" at his blank look her smile widened.

"Whether you're interested in the renovation project or not? What did you think I meant?" she teased. She had the satisfaction of seeing him blush slightly. She took a step towards him.

"See you around Ryan," she whispered and leaned forwards to press a kiss on his cheek. He turned his head and her lips caught the corner of his mouth. Both of them froze. Kate drew her head back and for the longest second they stared into each other's eyes. Ryan leaned closer to her and gently, ever so gently kissed her. Kate's eyes fluttered closed at the hesitant embrace and her heart fluttered in her ribcage like a trapped bird. She felt his hands span her waist and pull her closer to him as hidden emotion rushed to the surface. She slipped her arms around his neck, her fingers slipping through the blond hair at the back of his head. It felt thick, luxuriant and that quickened something deep inside of her. His hands burned through the thin material of her shirt. He withdrew and she blinked her eyes open and focused on him.

"I didn't mean for that…to happen," he admitted. She tilted her head and regarded him.

"I'm glad that it did," she replied and that reply flummoxed him and she smiled, despite the fact that her heart was beating fast enough to pound its way right out of her chest.

"That got you didn't it? What were you expecting me to do Ryan? Slap you?" she took one of his hands and his fingers twined themselves around hers.

"I liked the way that you kissed me. Trust me, in my business, people believed that they could do far worse," she informed him and he frowned.

"Worse like how?" she placed a finger over his lips.

"Now isn't the time to get into it," she whispered and replaced her finger with her lips. It was the barest trace against his mouth but it was enough for him to want more.

"Call me, okay?" and she was gone, had disappeared into her suite leaving him aching with the memory of a trace of her perfume.

_  
She absolutely hated being the new kid. She hated her parents even more. Her senior year and here she was at preppy Harbor High. Why couldn't her mother listen to her for once and let her finish at Pacific? No, her mother wanted her to get access to an Ivy League college education and in her opinion, Pacific didn't cut it. Kate sighed in irritation. Pacific had a great music program; she severely doubted Harbor possessed the same. _

_Right now, she was presently the object of curiosity for a couple dozen potential classmates. She was weighed up, her choice of clothing mentally debated and similarly dismissed. Why? Because she chose not to dress in Gucci, Chanel, or one of those other labels? Her jeans were Levi and her t-shirts were vintage and that was enough for her. She looked up as more students filed into class, chattering amongst themselves. As with the others, they checked her out and Kate's eyes sparked with interest when she recognised one of them. Her rescuer from Saturday night. He offered her a brief smile of recognition, which she returned. His companion seemed surprised to see her and she wondered whether he'd been out on Saturday night too, though she didn't remember him. _

_Ryan concealed his surprise with difficulty. Kate had dropped him off at home after their brief introduction and with a laugh had sped off again, leaving him standing by the road watching the red tail lights disappear into the night. Seth had appeared shortly after, bewildered as to where he'd been and how he'd gotten home before him. Ryan had given him the abridged version of his meeting with Kate and left it at that but all weekend she hadn't been far from his thoughts. He wondered about her, where she was from, if she was going to be performing regularly at The Bait Shop and if he would ever see her again. He'd even spent Sunday afternoon on the pier hoping to maybe see her but there'd been no sign of her and he had been preparing to put her out of his mind, chalk it down to a once in a lifetime thing and that they would probably never see each other again. And here she was instead._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Five:**

He was awake to see the sun peep over the horizon. He sat on the side of his bed, a coffee mug in his hand and watched the daily ritual that was the sunrise. It promised to be another glorious day. He'd slept fitfully after leaving Kate. The memory of that gentle kiss she'd left him with replayed every time he closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and sighed it out. She was back barely five minutes and already it felt like she was in his blood.

The sun was full above the horizon and that was his cue to start his day and with a yawn and a stretch, he got to his feet and headed towards the shower.

He'd bought this little house by the beach with the first of the profits that Kirsten had split straight down the middle. It had been a wreck and he'd spent an entire summer gutting it out and slowly but surely rebuilding it with his own bare hands from his own designs. It was his pride and joy and his sanctuary. Here he relaxed and allowed the stresses of the day to leave him.

"Is it true Kate Carpenter was here yesterday?" Ryan looked up from his drawing board as Kirsten Cohen came through the door. He put down his pencil and straightened up.

"Yeah it's true," he replied and watched her walk to the window and look out across the scenery for a second before turning to look at him.

"I thought with her fame, she'd be more suited to the bright lights of Los Angeles or New York"

"She bought the Bait Shop and came here because we were recommended to her," Kirsten's eyes widened in surprise.

"She did? I hope that you told her we only take on new projects from our own designs" she reminded him.

"I did, but she was adamant she wanted us to renovate the property," there was a half smile on Ryan's face that intrigued his foster mother.

"You're considering it aren't you?" He seemed to snap out of whatever daydream he was in and he looked at her.

"Actually I am. Structurally it's in pretty good condition and there is a lot of potential there," Kirsten sighed and walked towards him.

"We're rushed off our feet Ryan, we seriously need to consider taking on more staff to cope with the demand for our services,"

"I know that," he agreed.

"You've also got that look in your eyes," and he widened them innocently.

"What look?" Kirsten spun around and walked away from him and dropped into one of the chairs opposite his desk.

"You're going to do Kate's project, aren't you? That's what you're working on right now when you should be working on the Jones project!" Ryan slipped off his chair and stretched slightly cramped back muscles.

"The Jones project is under control, there's nothing there that I can't do in my sleep. He's specific about what he wants, I'm almost done there," he walked towards her and sat down opposite her. Kirsten sat forwards and looked at him.

"You're going to do it…The Bait Shop…" it wasn't a question and both of them knew it.

"Would you mind if I did? She can afford us," Kirsten reached across and caught one of his hands. She squeezed it gently.

"I know how you felt about her. She broke your heart when she left," her voice was soft, concerned and he glanced away, a little embarrassed.

"Well I guess I am the guy that girls love to leave," he quipped and Kirsten frowned.

"Don't sell yourself short," she scolded and a mischievous glint appeared in his eye.

"I'm a big boy now Kirsten, I can handle it," Kirsten let go of his hand.

"Well I remember having to live with you after she left," Ryan didn't comment. He knew that as always, Kirsten only had his best interests at heart.

**Chapter Six:**

He should knock. Instead he listened. He could hear music and singing and he smiled to himself when he recognised her voice. That voice had sold millions of CD's, toured the world, won countless awards. Of course he'd kept up with her during the intervening years, it was hard not to, the magazines had been almost permanently filled with speculation of her private life, photos printed of her caught unawares in the street and looking distressed. That part he'd hated to see. He pushed open the door and let himself inside.

The first thing that he was aware of was the smell of cleaning products. It made his eyes water a little. The second was Kate. She was across the large room, close to the stage. She was engrossed in mopping the floor, her hips swaying to the music blasting from a ghetto blaster on the stage. He could only watch her. She wore tight blue jeans that hugged her backside and thighs like a loving second skin. She also wore a white skinny rib singlet top and a white scarf held her blonde hair from her face. He smiled to himself. She turned her head, saw him standing there, with that smile on his face and she jumped out of her skin. He took the opportunity to walk towards her. She switched her music off and turned to face him.

"You scared me half to death!" she exclaimed. He shrugged.

"Sorry, but you looked like you were having fun," he replied and was rewarded by her smile. He scanned her face, seeing the smudges of dirt streaked here and there, the perspiration dewing her skin. He looked around. The place was cleared of garbage, the chairs were upright and neatly arranged and the surfaces were wiped clean. He looked back at her.

"You've been busy," she smiled, using her forearm to wipe the moisture from her skin.

"I was up early this morning so I thought I'd come here and get started. If nothing else, the place will be clean" she looked at him expectantly. He'd come straight from the office; his suit was dark grey in colour, with a white shirt and a dark coloured tie knotted loosely around his neck, the top button undone.

"Is this a social call, or business?" she asked, picking up the mop and bucket and heading towards the large curved bar that graced the corner of the room. He followed. He watched her lean down and place the bucket on the floor, propping the mop handle up against the bar. The denim stretched and accentuated and Ryan tore his gaze away from the lines of her body. In the meantime his body was doing a very good job of reacting accordingly and that made him a little uncomfortable.

"A little bit of both," he replied and watched as she opened a bottle of mineral water and took a swig straight from the bottle. Ryan could only observe in what he would later think of as mild awe. She placed the bottle back on the bar.

"I thought that you would hire someone to clean this place up," he mentioned. She shrugged.

"I know but where's the fun in that? This way I get the satisfaction of a job well done and it's a great work out" she patted flat abdominal muscles and automatically his gaze went to her stomach. Okay, things were starting to get just that little bit weirder for him now.

"So…" Ryan blinked and snapped back to the present.

"What?" he started guiltily.

"A little bit of both?" His eyes widened marginally when he remembered why he was really here. Not to ogle Kate's impressive statistics that was for sure.

"Oh. Right," he lifted the battered leather satchel that he'd been carrying and placed it on the bar surface. Kate watched him unfasten the snaps and open it. He extracted a sheaf of A4 sized plain paper.

"I've been thinking about this place and I sketched out some ideas. It's all been done roughly, but if you like it, I could get everything done to scale and take it from there," he handed the papers to her and watched her sift through them. Normally he didn't have a problem with a client seeing rough drafts of his ideas but for some reason, seeing Kate look through them made him a little edgy.

Kate was dumbfounded by the quality of Ryan's rough drafts. His attention to detail was amazing. His use of colouring and shading impressed her and she looked at him to see him watching her intensely.

"Does this mean that you're taking me on?" she enquired. His expression was guarded.

"Cohen and Atwood don't usually do renovations Kate…but…I don't know…this place holds a lot of memories for me too and if you're serious about re-opening, then I'd like to be involved". Kate placed the sketches on the bar and took a couple of steps towards him.

"I am serious Ryan. Never been so serious about anything for a long time," his gaze dropped to her mouth. Something shifted inside of her at that look.

"We're expensive. You want the best, you'd better be prepared to pay for it." His eyes lifted to her face again.

"Not a problem," she replied with a slight shake of her head. He held out a hand.

"Then you have yourself a deal Miss Carpenter," he confirmed. She took it and felt his fingers curl around hers. Then, with a gently tug, he drew her to him until her body bumped against his. His hands dropped down to her hips and he held her against him. Something flared in her eyes as his message was received and understood. She melted into him. His arms went around her to hold her close. She smelled of detergent and a little of sweat and a trace of a sweet scent. Her lips were cold from the water she'd just drank. He heard her sigh a little as he kissed her, felt those arms slip around his neck as they had last night, felt her fingers slip through his hair, dishevelling it eagerly. They drew apart and stared into each other's eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Seven:**

"_Small world, isn't it?" Kate glanced briefly at Ryan as she dropped into the vacant seat beside him._

"_Miniscule," she replied dryly. She put her canvas tote bag on the table and huffed out a sigh._

"_Last place you want to be right now?" she turned her head and looked at him._

"_Definitely," she agreed. But she did feel a little better that there was someone here that she knew, even if it was marginally._

"_Hey, Mr. Stevenson said your name was Carpenter-Cole…you related to Marshall Cole?" Ryan watched Kate twist in her seat to look at Seth._

"_And you are?" Seth's eyes rounded at the abrupt enquiry and he glanced briefly at Ryan before looking back at her._

"_Se…Seth… Cohen…" he semi-stuttered. Ryan had to bite back a smile. Strong minded women always reduced Seth to a gibbering wreck and it looked as though Kate could and would be yet another example. _

"_Well Seth Cohen, for your information, I am Kate Carpenter, No Katherine and definitely not Cole, like he wishes" the two exchanged a look. Then Kate smiled._

"_Nice to meet you by the way" and the look of fear in Seth's eyes began to recede. Kate looked at Ryan again and then grinned._

_A day of trying to fit in passed. Well, it wasn't as though she was actively trying to fit in, she was just sick and tired of being stared at time after time. Tomorrow it would be a little better; at least then she wouldn't be a brand new face. Ryan had taken on the role as her guide, helping her out with her schedule, sharing notes in their classes, making sure that she had everything that she needed and as far as she could see, he didn't have an ulterior motive. He was quiet, of very few words, protective too. She'd seen that side of him at the Bait Shop on Saturday night, the way that he'd dealt with her unwanted admirer. Wise beyond his years some might say. Some guys took in her light blonde hair, her blue eyes and automatically assumed that she was fair game for whatever they had in mind but Ryan seemed to be different. _

She couldn't believe that he had persuaded her into attending tonight. Nerves leaped in her stomach and more than once she'd been tempted to pick up the phone, call his office and cancel. But he'd persuaded, cajoled even which wasn't like him in the slightest and eventually she'd acquiesced. The Cohen's were having a get together. Nothing fancy, Ryan had assured her, but Seth and Summer were home for a vacation and his parents wanted to celebrate their arrival. Again Kate swallowed at the thought of seeing those people again. Sandy was doing his infamous cook out by the pool, there would be drinks, and music and Ryan assured her that she would have a good time. Why had she agreed? Just the memory of Ryan kissing her in the Bait Shop made her pulse race, her skin heat and there she had her answer. She'd agreed because of Ryan.

The driveway in front of the huge house was filled with cars. Kate got out of the cab and for a second she just stood there. She could hear music playing, hear laughter and once more the nerves in her stomach began to flutter. She may have gone to the same school as these people but she'd never felt as though she'd fitted in. This kind of life was a million miles away from her reality, even though she had enough money than most of them put together. Her fingers tightened on her purse. It was now or never.

She rang the doorbell and waited. It felt like an age before the door finally opened. Kirsten Cohen stood there, tall, blonde and still extremely graceful. For a moment Kate felt seventeen again. She smiled.

"Mrs Cohen," she greeted. Kirsten rolled her eyes and smiled at the same time.

"Please, it's Kirsten. Come on in," and at her invitation Kate stepped inside into the huge lobby. Her eyes took in the high ceilings and the marble floors.

"I'm glad that you could make it," Kirsten continued and Kate smiled still, despite her overpowering nerves.

"Thank you for inviting me," she replied and followed her through the house to the kitchen, through the patio doors and out into the pool area. Automatically Kate's eyes sought Ryan out and her heart lifted when she saw him by the pool house talking to Seth. He was casually attired in faded blue jeans and a darker blue t-shirt. With his blond colouring, the combination looked good on him. She took a deep breath, clutching her purse even tighter. Most of Newport Beach seemed to be here, some faces she recognised from the past, others she didn't. But she knew that they all knew her, or at least they knew her now. She looked away as heads turned and regarded her with a mixture of curiosity and interest. She sneaked a peek down at the Levi's that she wore. Coupled with the vintage rock t-shirt she'd thrown on, she felt distinctly under dressed. She watched as Ryan sensed the shift in atmosphere and looked over. When he saw her, he smiled and walked towards her.

"Hey, I'm glad that you came," and in front of everyone he pressed a kiss on her cheek. She looked at him and smiled nervously. She felt his arm slip across her back, just below her shoulders.

"I almost didn't," she murmured back. His hold tightened slightly.

"But you did and that's what's important,"

"Seth, Summer…you remember Kate Carpenter, right?" It was later, dusk, the shades of the sky deepening with each passing moment. Ryan had been the ultimate host, never leaving her side, introducing her to people, re-newing acquaintances with those she'd only vaguely known the first time around. Julie Cooper's frigid stare still made her feel nervous even after all of this time.

"Who forgets Kate Carpenter…it's nice to see you again," Seth greeted and pressed a kiss against her cheek. Kate looked at Summer and knew very well that she remembered her. Kate also remembered her unswerving loyalty to Marissa.

"It's nice to see you both again. It seems as though life in Los Angeles agrees with you"

"How do you know that we live in LA?" Summer enquired, her tone slightly sharp.

"Who hasn't heard of the mighty Seth Cohen and his comic book empire?" Kate answered calmly and Summer looked faintly embarrassed. Kate regarded her, Summer might be married to Seth, but some of that self-absorption still existed on some level. Seth ducked his head in embarrassment and Kate couldn't help but smile. He'd had such huge dreams in his late teen years and she recognised the expression in his eyes, that he'd actually achieved something and was still in awe of it. She remembered that feeling well though nowadays it was hardly seen anymore.

"So, what are you doing back in Newport Beach anyway? Being a world renowned rock star too boring for you these days?" Summer enquired.

"I thought you read just about every magazine in circulation Summer? I seem to remember you did back in High School," Kate replied at the little barb. Once was okay, two was pushing it.

"Kate bought the Bait Shop. We're going to renovate it, refurbish it and reopen it" Ryan replied. Kate looked at him, a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach at the "we" part. She looked back at Seth to see him smile.

"You are? That's so cool," he breathed and Kate smiled softly.

"The place has special memories for me, for everyone I think and I thought it would be a shame to let it be forgotten,"

"So you've hired my mom and Ryan's company to do the renovation?" Kate glanced at Ryan again and she nodded.

"I'm hoping work will start soon".

**Chapter Eight:**

"I really thought that Marissa would be here," Kate commented. It was full dark now and she was content to sit beside the pool with just Ryan for company. The crowd had thinned out considerably. A mild breeze washed against her skin and played idly with her hair. Ryan could only look at her. At the mention of his old love, he smiled in a slow, absent kind of way.

"She doesn't live around here anymore, that's why she isn't here," he told her and she looked at him more fully.

"She doesn't?" he slowly shook his head.

"She prefers to keep to herself. She lives just outside of Los Angeles, just her and her daughter." Kate's eyes widened even further.

"She has a child now? I am so out of the loop"

"Yeah believe it or not. Mia is six or seven now. Marissa's happy, she's a good mom," Kate tried to envisage Marissa Cooper as a mother and really couldn't. She'd heard the stories about her, her brush with alcoholism, the disgrace of her father's criminal activities, the Tijuana scandal, her relationship with her mother, she had been the Holy Grail of all things scandalous to the more shallow members of Newport Beach society.

"She was very troubled I seem to remember," she said softly. Ryan looked at her.

"Yeah, she was. But she's put all that behind her now. She's happy," Kate stared back at him.

"I'm glad," she murmured. She watched Ryan lean forwards and he kissed her gently. The embrace was soft, almost teasing but it left her wanting more.

"And for the record, I'm not Mia's father," he murmured for her ears only. Kate frowned slightly.

"Why would I think that?" Ryan moved an inch away from her, a movement that she noticed and remembered.

"Because of our history. And people still like to talk," Kate leaned over and lay her hand against his face and he looked at her sharply.

"The thought never crossed my mind Ryan. If Mia had been your daughter, you'd have said so," she told him. His expression changed.

"You know, even now there are people here that want to believe the worst of me, even after all this time," she could hear the frustration colouring his voice.

"I know. They're not worth worrying over. Those who know you best of all don't judge you on your past. Those who cling to it aren't worth having as friends," she told him. She lowered her hand to his shoulder. He smiled, faintly embarrassed.

"How did you get to become so…"

"Grown up? Philosophical?" she smiled at his soft laugh and her hand slipped down to cover his hand. She shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess it must've crept up on me over the years,"

They were all alone now. Kate watched him glance at his watch and his eyes widened.

"Hey, it's gone two a.m" he exclaimed and her eyes widened. She sat bolt upright from the lounger she'd been reclining on.

"It is? We must be the last ones here. I hope Sandy and Kirsten aren't waiting up for us to leave?" she began to get to her feet and then turned to the house. All the lights were off; there was no sign of life. She looked back at Ryan who now stood beside her.

"I guess it's too late to call for a cab?" he looked at her.

"Not really, But there's the pool house" she turned her head to look at the small building. It had been where Ryan had 'lived' during his teens. She looked at him.

"I could still call you a cab if you want me to but the pool house has a big bed and there would be absolutely no strings…I promise," he explained.

"Would the Cohen's mind?" Ryan took her hand and they slowly walked around the edge of the pool.

"They won't. Want to try it?" she looked at him and took a deep breath, ignoring the butterflies dancing in her stomach. She nodded.

He unlocked the door and opened it. He stood back as Kate went inside. It looked just the same, just redecorated but she remembered spending time here with Ryan, talking, studying and laughing, playing the occasional video game. She also took the opportunity to hide here when home life got too much for her. He always welcomed her in, no questions asked. He didn't ask her why or what had happened and they never talked about it, it was as though on some unspoken level he just knew and understood. A shiver ran up and down her spine at the memory. She wasn't a teen any more. She turned and saw the bed, it was as huge as she remembered, could easily accommodate four people. She glanced at him as he followed her inside and closed the door behind him.

"You could drive a truck through that bed and still have room to sleep," she quipped. The tension in the air came alive the second he closed the door. She stood and watched him close the ceiling to floor blinds and switch on a couple of lamps, bathing the room in a soft glow. He straightened and looked at her. The air had a tingle to it and an absurd though had Kate thinking that it had nothing to do with static electricity.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **An ickle bit of smut in Chapter 10 :)

**Chapter Nine:**

_She had to admit that she was beginning to enjoy her life at Harbor High. The curriculum was better than she thought it would be, and who would've thought that there would have such an excellent music program? She'd fitted right in and it was her favourite class by far. Ryan teased her about loving it but then he would tell her that he thought it was kind of cool, that she had a talent that deserved to be recognised. She still blushed a little when she remembered those words and the sincerity in his eyes when he said it. He was still her closest friend at Harbor. Sure, the other guys had more or less accepted her as part of the scene, cynically Kate decided that it was the fact that she wasn't really like them, that her interests lay in more thought provoking ideals and projects such as her music than shopping and facials and getting a sun tan. A curiosity, that was it, Kate Carpenter was a curiosity. Summer was still a little unsure of her, didn't know how to really take her and most of all whether she was interested in her boyfriend or not, which was a big resounding no. Marissa, Kate realised, still had a thing for Ryan. Seth had filled her in on the whole Ryan and Marissa story and it made Romeo and Juliet look a little on the tame side. Once in a while Kate caught a wistful expression in Marissa's eyes that she was quick to hide from the others. _

_Kate parked her car in front of the huge pink monstrosity that her Stepfather had paid an obscene amount of money to construct. The Cooper-Nichol residence was further along the road and of course Marshall Cole wouldn't be outdone. The Cole Residence made the Cooper-Nichol residence look like a pool house. Marissa, her younger sister and parents still lived there after the death of Marissa's stepfather who also happened to be Seth's grandfather. Kate shook her head at the family triangles, glad there was nothing like that in hers. She had her mother and her step father and that was that and if she could, she'd leave them far, far behind to drown in their millions…well, Marshall Cole's millions, her mother just had access to it. Kate picked up her bag and slung it across her shoulders, gathering her textbooks from the trunk. She wanted to get her homework done before considering anything else, at least then she could begin to plan her set list for Saturday night's performance. Excitement bubbled in her stomach at the thought of getting up on that stage and singing again. She glanced up as the main door opened and mentally she sighed when she saw her mother standing there. She looked absolutely flawless in her couture outfit, not a hair out of place. Nowadays it was only the best for Vivian Carpenter-Cole but right at this moment she looked ready to rip somebody's head off; namely hers. _

"_What have I done now?" Kate drawled as she approached her. Vivian's blue eyes were glacial. _

"_You had a phone call. From The Bait Shop?" Kate frowned._

"_Damn, I must have forgotten to switch on my cell after school," she rummaged around in her shoulder bag and quickly discovered that she had indeed forgotten. She switched it on. Then she looked at her mom._

"_Did they say what they wanted?"_

"_Apparently they're confirming Saturday night, whatever that may be!" she spat and Kate rolled her eyes._

"_The Bait Shop is a place where the local kids hang out," she stopped in front of her mother and looked at her. She had the advantage over her by three inches._

"_Are you going to move so I can come in or are we having this conversation here where anyone can eavesdrop?" she demanded. Vivian glared at her before standing aside. Kate slipped past her and across the black and white marble lobby to the staircase._

"_You're not going there on Saturday, do you hear me?" her mother shrieked. Kate winced as her shrill voice echoed around the cavernous lobby. She paused half way up the stairs._

"_I was kind of expecting you to say that mother. You're not going to stop me from having some fun around here. You know I like to sing and it's a great place to be and my friends are there" Vivian clattered across the lobby._

"_If you want to sing, I'm sure your father could arrange for you to perform at his next big party" Kate gripped the balustrade tightly to try and control her rising temper._

"_And sing show tunes? No thanks. And for your information, he isn't my father as much as he'd like to think that he is. You may not know who my biological dad is, but it's not him" Vivian's eyes widened as the dart hit home. _

"_You will apologise right this moment for that remark young lady!" she yelled. Kate regarded her steadily. _

"_I'm going to do my homework now" and with her mother's ensuing threats and protestations ringing in her ears she hurried the rest of the way up the stairs to her room._

_Fury warred with absolute misery once she got into her room and closed the door. Fury at her mother's attitude, misery at having to put up with it. She straightened up and strode over to her bed, dumping her bag and books onto it. She sat down and sighed. Only a few more months left and she'd be legally free of all of this. She could graduate and then leave and never have to live through this hell again. She flinched as her cell began to ring and she had to scramble through her bag again to find it. She smiled to herself when the caller ID revealed it to be Ryan. She paused as it shrilled for her attention and waited til the threat of angry tears abated and she could talk to him. She flicked it open and made herself smile._

"_Hey Ryan…" she greeted cheerfully. _

"_Hey. You took your time" his voice was warm and this time the smile was genuine._

"_Phone was at the bottom of my bag. What's up?"_

"_Just wondering whether you'd like to come over and hang out for a while?" _

"_I would love to, but I want to get my homework out of the way, another time?" there was a brief silence on the other end of the line._

"_You okay?" Kate swallowed._

"_Absolutely fine, why?"_

"_You just sound…never mind. If you change your mind, you know where I am," She nodded._

"_I do. Talk to you later" and she disconnected before he could speak again._

_She avoided her mother til breakfast the following morning. As she appeared in the kitchen she momentarily paused when she saw Marshall at the table with her. Great. She'd hoped to avoid him as she usually did most mornings. Marshall Cole's eyes were on her instantly and she tried not to physically squirm under his examination. Kate poured herself some coffee, sipping it as she leaned against one of the Italian marble kitchen counters. _

"_Aren't you going to join us Katherine?" Marshall enquired smoothly and her skin crawled at the way he said her name._

"_Not hungry," she replied. _

"_Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, it'd be a crime to miss it," he continued. Kate shrugged._

"_Coffee will do for now thanks,"_

"_SIT!" Marshall suddenly roared and Kate flinched. A tense silence ensued. Presently she took a seat opposite them both, placing her coffee cup down in front of her. She looked at him and her mother in turn. Her stomach churned and resentment boiled in her veins._

"_Your mother tells me that you have a…gig… at some establishment in Newport Beach this evening," Kate glared at her mother before returning her attention to her stepfather._

"_I'm going to The Bait Shop tonight, that's the plan," she replied carefully. Marshall stared at her, his light blue eyes icy._

"_No you're not Katherine. You're not going near that place do you understand me?" she sat back in her chair._

"_You can't stop me" she retorted angrily. Marshall just shrugged._

"_I'm responsible for you and your mother, this is my house, my rules,"_

"_My free will!" she retaliated. Their gazes clashed and held._

"_Consider yourself grounded until further notice," he stood up._

"_For now, you won't leave this house unless it's to go to school and come back or if you're accompanying your mother and I to a function, understood?" Kate stared up at him. Beneath the table, her fists were clenched tightly. She watched him walk out of the kitchen before looking at her mother._

"_Bitch" she hissed and got to her feet. The chair clattered back onto the floor, the sound like a gunshot around the room. She ran out._

**Chapter Ten:**

Kate could only look at him. He swallowed and she watched the movement of his throat. Every fibre of her soul was attuned to him. All of a sudden just kisses weren't enough and she wanted more of him. She didn't know what to do, did she wait til he made the first move or was he waiting for her to do the same? She took a deep breath and walked towards him. Her heart was hammering in her breast; felt a fine perspiration prickling her skin. As soon as she was within reach, Ryan reached out and slipped an arm across her back, dragging her the rest of the way to him. They seemed to melt into each other, trading kisses. Aggressive and wanting, her hands roved the length of his body, sliding beneath his t-shirt and feeling the smooth hot skin underneath. A sigh hissed from him as she grasped the hem of the t-shirt and pulled it upwards and he momentarily released his hold on her to lift his arms as she tugged it over his head and dropped it on the floor. Wide shoulders, well-muscled biceps…well some things hadn't changed over the intervening years. His stomach was flat, ridged with muscle and dusted with fine dark blond hair. She smoothed her hand over it and felt the muscle quiver. Different scents assaulted her at the same time. He tasted mildly of beer, he smelled of soap, of the sea and faintly of shaving foam. It made her feel slightly light headed as it all blended together in her mind and became essentially Ryan.

She had no memory of them making it to the bed. But here they were, beneath the covers and both naked, their clothing scattered across the floor like confetti. She looked up at him. His navy blue eyes searched her eyes, one hand smoothing strands of her hair away from her face.

"Are you sure about this?" he murmured. Her eyes became wide. She lifted her head from the pillow and kissed him again, her hands slipping down the length of him.

"I'm sure," she whispered. He didn't need any more reassurances.

He filled her and stretched her and the breath hissed out of her at the sensation of him hard inside of her. The friction was exquisite as she held him close, his hair soft against her cheek. She flexed her hips and heard him groan quietly. A smile flitted across her face and she wondered what she could do to make the normally buttoned up Ryan Atwood lose control. He lifted his head and looked into her eyes as he slowly began to move.

Quietly Kirsten opened the door to the pool house. Ryan was the lightest sleeper that she knew, the slightest sound could wake him and she didn't want to disturb him if he was sleeping. It was still early. They'd left Ryan and Kate talking by the pool late the night before, they were so enveloped in each other's company that neither had noticed they'd left. She knew that Ryan would just crash in the pool house like old times, no doubt Kate would've gotten a cab back to her hotel. She peeped her head around the door and saw him fast asleep. Her eyes widened when she realised that he wasn't alone. Kate lay beside him, sleeping on her stomach, facing away from her. Their clothes were tossed around the floor. Kirsten beat a hasty but silent retreat, closing the door behind her. She paused for a moment, her mind rewinding back to seeing Kate in Ryan's bed. She smiled to herself and returned to the main house.

Kate was awake later in the morning. She was alone and for a second wondered where Ryan had gone. She sat up and listened but was greeted by silence instead. She glanced at the small clock on the bedside table closest to her and saw that it was a little after eight. She started as the door to the pool house began to open and presently Ryan appeared. He wore his jeans from last night and that was it. As he turned towards her, she was rewarded by a view of his very flat abs. A memory of kissing those same muscles flashed through her brain from the night before, remembering how the muscles had quivered beneath her lips and the husky sound of his laughter as she'd done so made her cheeks pinken slightly. Back to the present, he smiled at her and she couldn't help but smile back, ignoring the fluttering in her stomach.

"Hey. Sleep okay?" she watched him put the coffee mugs that he'd brought onto the same bedside cabinet that housed the clock and then lean over to kiss her.

"I did. Eventually" she replied and saw his sheepish smile. And was almost tempted to tack on 'when you finally let me' but decided against it.

"I brought coffee. You still like it the same, right?" she nodded and as he straightened up, she grabbed his belt buckle. He looked at her semi-quizzically but soon got the message.

"I like you even more," she replied and pulled him down to her. He went willingly.

As he lay on top of her, her fingers splayed and worked the muscles that she decided she could definitely get off on. He kissed her, the touch of him sending kamikaze thrills through her body. He'd told her that he still did the occasional construction job, and she could tell by the slight roughness of his fingertips as they rasped against sensitised skin, had felt the calluses on the palms of his hands for herself. Her hands moved around to caress his chest and she heard his whispered acquiesce. She trailed her hands down to the button fly of his jeans. One by one she released them, feeling the strength of his erection strain against the softened denim fabric. It was then that she realised that he wore no underwear.

The coffee was warm, on the verge of being cold but neither of them took any notice of that. Ryan watched her sit on the side of his bed; the sheet tucked under her arms, her back to him and take a mouthful.

"I could make you some more coffee if you want?" she turned her head and looked at him over her shoulder. She smiled softly.

"It's okay, I'm used to cold coffee," she responded and there was an awkward pause.

"That didn't come out like I expected it to. What I mean is when I'm writing, I tend to block everything out. I've lost count of how many cups of cold coffee I've drunk over the last few years," Ryan rolled onto his stomach and looked at her.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me," she turned more fully and looked at him.

"But I think I do. So much has been written about me in the past, so many lies and misconceptions. I don't want you thinking the worst of me,"

"And I've never judged you Katie. I know you, or I knew you back in High School and you haven't changed much from then,"

"Just a bit older and a little more grown up," she teased and Ryan smiled.

"What I'm saying is that you've never judged me and with you I've done the same,"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Eleven:**

They were laughing over something inconsequential as they went into the Cohen kitchen. Ryan paused suddenly and Kate had to stop quickly so that she didn't bump into him. She looked over his shoulder and realised that they weren't alone. Kirsten and Sandy and Seth were there, Seth the only one still in pyjamas. They all looked at them and Kate unconsciously scooted more behind Ryan's back, a little embarrassed that they'd been caught together.

"Morning Ryan, Kate. I take it you slept well?" Kirsten enquired. Kate closed her eyes as humiliation burned through her. She rested her forehead against the back of Ryan's shoulders, felt his muscles tense.

"I…I…yeah… thanks…" Ryan stuttered.

"It's okay you two, she's just pulling your legs…" Sandy interrupted and Kate let out a quiet sigh of relief. She straightened a little and peeped over Ryan's shoulder to see Kirsten watching her, a glint in her eyes that confirmed what her husband had said was true. She moved around to stand more beside Ryan and felt his arm slip around her waist.

"I know you have rules… and it was only one night…" Ryan began to explain.

"It's okay. We don't mind, really. I'm glad you both stayed, I take it was too late to call a cab?" Kirsten asked.

"It was after two. You're sure it's okay?" Kirsten sighed and looked at him.

"You're older now. And yes, we're sure. Want some coffee? Breakfast?"

Her cab arrived. He walked with her to it. For a long moment they stood there, looking at each other, each remembering what happened the night before. He wanted so much to touch her, to kiss her again.

"You'll be in touch with contracts and plans?" he just nodded. He watched her turn to get into the cab and he reached out and grasped her wrist. With a gasp she turned around and looked at him.

"I don't want this to end like…this," he told her. She looked down at his hand clasped loosely around her wrist and then she looked up at his face.

"Neither do I Ryan. Call me?" he nodded and then tugged her towards him. She lost herself in his kiss.

He walked back into the house and got the strongest sense of déjà vu. Sandy was clearing away the breakfast dishes; Kirsten leaned against the breakfast bar and sipped at her coffee. Seth still sat at the table, still in his pyjamas and robe, still looking half asleep. Kirsten turned her head and looked at him as he appeared.

"Kate leave okay?" she enquired and he nodded.

"I just wanted to say…thanks… it couldn't have been easy for you guys…and it's your house…" his voice petered off in embarrassment.

"It's okay Ryan, honestly. We still want you to think of this place as your home and as we said before, you're older now…" Ryan glanced away.

"So does that mean that you and Kate are involved?" Seth's sleepy teasing voice interrupted from his position at the kitchen table. Ryan shot him a glance of semi-irritation.

"None of your business," he retorted. Kirsten handed him a mug of coffee and he wrapped his hands around it feeling the heat of it burning his fingers. He took a sip and smiled to himself. Hot coffee was most definitely better than cold coffee.

"Ryan and Kate, sitting in a tree…" Seth began to sing, watching as Ryan got closer to him. Ryan passed his friend on the outside and slapped the back of his head as he went by, satisfied at the yelp in response.

**Chapter Twelve:**

Kate knew that right now, if she planned to stay in Newport Beach, then she really should begin to look at houses. But she held off. She knew that the realtors would be falling over themselves to sell her the perfect property, but a sliver of the old Kate Carpenter was firmly embedded in her psyche. It didn't matter that she had enough money to buy the most spectacular house in the area; it was the idea that she would have to live in it alone. Ryan had been surprised that she'd sold the house; she'd been more surprised that he hadn't even known that she had. After her mother's death, she had her attorney's go through the legalities. She hadn't stepped foot back in that property, hadn't wanted to. She hadn't even attended her mother's funeral. When she'd left Newport Beach, she firmly left all of that behind. She wasn't going to become a hypocrite and mourn her. She genuinely hoped that whoever had purchased the house, cherished it and loved it because she certainly never had.

The anonymity was a balm to her soul. Oh she knew that people recognised her but she was grateful that they left her alone. She wore a hat and dark sunglasses as a barrier, a disguise and over the last few years had gotten good at it. Since she'd achieved major success, the paparazzi had been a constant companion. Every single aspect of her life was documented, picked over, dissected and discussed. Every time she turned around there was a camera lens in her face. At first she'd enjoyed all of the attention, who wouldn't? She'd been flavour of the month and she'd been of the belief that all publicity was good publicity. Then it had gotten intrusive, constant and suddenly it wasn't fun anymore and subsequently the photographers had turned on her, hounded her. Trust was misplaced, people she'd once believed in sold wildly salacious stories to the media and the pressure had piled on. It made her a recluse in her own home until she finally decided that she couldn't take any more of it and she'd left. She'd headed straight back to Newport Beach and to Ryan.

Her thoughts took her along the pier, past the hot dog and soda stands. The sun bleached down on her and she was thankful for those sunglasses. She stopped and looked out across the marina, out to sea. The warm breeze pressed the material of her long white skirt against her legs and tickled at her hair peeping beneath her sunhat. The smell of the salt air was strong and even after all of this time, somewhat familiar.

"Hey," the voice that she wanted to hear most of all sounded so real that she wanted to believe that he was right beside her.

"Are you ignoring me?" a hand touched her arm and she flinched and turned. He stood beside her, wearing his suit, well half of it, the jacket was looped over one arm, and the business like white shirt was unbuttoned. For all intents and purposes he was just any other guy at the end of a working day enjoying the summer sun, but to her he was Ryan. She smiled.

"How did you know that I was here?" she breathed. He glanced out across the sea, his eyes squinting against the sun.

"I didn't," he replied. He looked back at her and reached across and slipped the sunglasses off her face.

"That's better," he murmured and lowered his head and kissed her. Her hands came up to rest against his chest, curling into fists and taking handfuls of the soft cotton material in the process.

They ended up walking along the beach, the soft sand squishing between their bare toes, their fingers loosely linked and other bits of clothing in opposite hands. They didn't talk much, just enjoyed the silence between them, and enjoyed each other's company.

She caught him looking at her.

"What?" she half laughed. He smiled in semi-embarrassment. His grip on her hand tightened a little.

"Just can't believe that you're here with me," he admitted. She frowned briefly in puzzlement.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he shrugged. She stopped walking. He did likewise and looked at her.

"Why wouldn't I want to be with you Ryan?" she asked softly. He looked away.

"You could have anyone that you wanted and I mean anyone but you're here in Newport Beach. With me," her heart throbbed in her chest at his admission.

"I'm here because I want to be here with you," she told him, her voice low. He stared at her, into her eyes in that intense way that made her feel as though she was the only other person in the entire universe. He touched her face, sliding his fingers along her cheekbone, slipping down to gently cup her jaw as he lowered his head and kissed her. Her arms found themselves around his neck as she returned the embrace, her body stretching to fit against the entire length of him. Slowly Ryan drew away from her, his breathing ragged and stared at her again. If this was love, its power was slowly sucking him under. If it wasn't, then he didn't know what it was but it felt good.

They grabbed a dinner of burgers, fries and milkshakes, sitting together in a little booth in the diner at the end of the pier. Itreminded her ofold times, happier times. They talked and they laughed and stole the occasional kiss. Kate allowed herself the chance to lower her guard completely and enjoy his company and the way that he made her feel.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Thirteen:**

"_What happened to you on Saturday?" Kate looked at him, her expression darkening._

"_I'm currently grounded over something I don't want to talk about if that's okay with you?" Ryan scanned her face, and then shrugged. He did want to talk about it but her expression was distinctly forbidding._

"_Okay," he replied and she looked at him as they walked towards the quad. _

"_It just makes me mad talking about it Ryan, that's all," he turned his head and looked at her._

"_It could also help too. Just saying," he responded with a shrug when the expression in her eyes seemed to darken even more. She linked her arm through his and hugged him close. He glanced at her and smiled._

"_But thanks anyway," she told him and smiled cheekily. The smile was definitely infectious._

"_Anytime," he replied and they continued to walk to class._

It was dark outside. Ryan exited the diner first and turned to wait for Kate to follow. She came into view and smiled at him as she slipped her hand into his. Then someone called her name.

Automatically she turned her head and was immediately blinded by the lightning like flash of a camera. After that it felt as though everything was happening in slow motion. Countless flashes went off as photographers surrounded them both. Ryan watched Kate react and saw her head go down, her hand coming up to hide her face. He released his hold on her hand to slide a protective arm across her shoulders. She huddled into him. Ryan turned his attention to the paparazzi that had initially ignored him in their eagerness to get a picture of their prey. Their attitude made him see red and he began to push his way through the crowd. Questions were being fired at them both but he chose to ignore them. Inwardly Ryan cursed, his SUV was in its usual parking space behind the office which was a ten minute walk away and there was no way on earth that they were going to get there in one piece. His head snapped around as beside him Kate was jostled and she stumbled. Only his arm across her shoulders stopped her from falling flat on her face. The press photographers surged forwards, ever vigilant to capturing her on film. Fury rose within him.

"Can't you see that she wants to be left alone?" he snarled. Still they advanced like a pack of starving wolves and Ryan finally retaliated, pushing one intruding lens out of the way. They seemed to be coming from all directions.

"Ryan! Back in here!" a voice yelled above the commotion and instinctively he turned towards it, to see the owner of the diner wading his way through the photographers. He grabbed onto Kate's arm and between them, they managed to get her back inside. Not before Ryan had shoved a few more of the press pack out of the way first.

The owner slammed his door shut and locked it. He turned to look at the couple.

"I didn't realise that we had a world famous singer in our midst tonight," he breathed. Ryan looked at him.

"She just wants to be left alone man, what's the harm in that?"

"Not a single thing. Are you okay Miss Carpenter?" Kate lifted her head to look at him.

"I will be. How did you know who I was?" the man shrugged broad shoulders.

"Everybody knows who you are, and that you're here in Newport Beach. I'm sorry that you got caught up in all of that crap outside" Kate shrugged.

"That's okay," she turned to look at Ryan.

"If that's the case then anyone could've called the press and told them I'm here," he looked down at her. He saw the slumped shoulders; saw the changed expression in her eyes. He sighed deeply and just pulled her into his arms.

"What are you going to do?" he asked. He felt her shrug.

"Leave I suppose. Go somewhere else." She replied in a muffled voice. Ryan turned his head and glared at the photographers still milling around outside. With his arm still around her, they walked to the back of the diner, through the kitchen to the back door. There he paused and she looked up at him.

"If you leave, what about your plans? The Bait Shop, those renovation plans? Your plans to live here?" He wanted to ask her about them but didn't. She sighed.

"They know where I am Ryan and now that they know they won't leave me alone. They hounded me back in Los Angeles, in New York. I thought I'd be safer here but I realise I was mistaken. Soon they'll know where I'm staying and set up camp there. I can't do it anymore,"

"But they don't know where I live," he told her. Her expression was doubtful.

"For now. But right at this moment they will be doing everything in their power to discover everything that there is to know about you and they'll find out where you live soon enough. Could you cope with that?"

"If I have you here with me Katie, I could cope with anything" he told her.

**Chapter Fourteen:**

"They're gone," Artie, the owner of the diner, told them. It was an hour later and the couple had been holed up in the kitchen, drinking coffee and not talking. Ryan hadn't been able to take his eyes off her, unable to believe the change in her personality. The smiles were gone; the sunny, happy expression in her eyes a couple of hours before along with it. Instead they were replaced by a lost, hunted expression that made him mad enough to want to tear the nearest press photographer apart with his bare hands. She looked up suddenly at Artie's voice.

"You're sure?"

"I checked up and down the pier to be sure Miss Carpenter, there's no-one there," he assured her. She straightened up.

"Thank you for checking. And it's Kate. Please call me Kate," she glanced at Ryan.

"Would you walk me back to my hotel?" Ryan straightened up also and just nodded.

She didn't take his hand or link his arm as they walked back along the pier and towards the hotel where she was currently staying. Instead she had her arms folded close to her body, her shoulders hunched and her head down. The breeze had turned a little chilly and she shivered. She looked up when she felt something heavy rest around her shoulders. She looked up and at him and realised at the same time that he'd put his jacket around her shoulders. It was still warm from him and she could smell him in the fabric.

He walked with her into the lobby, keeping his eyes open for anyone who looked as though they shouldn't be there. She paused and looked up at him. For a second, neither of them could speak. He wanted to reach out and touch her, push a tousled strand of hair from her face, but he didn't. Instead he just stood there, fists closed, feeling helpless and frustrated because of it.

"I want you to talk to me," he told her. Her eyes widened marginally.

"About what?" she asked. He sighed, pushing his hands into the front pockets of his trousers.

"About this half-assed leaving thing," Kate sighed and at the same time lowered her head to stare at the floor.

"It's for the best Ryan. I was insane to even think that I had a future here at Newport Beach, that I'd be left alone long enough to even have a private life" he stared helplessly at her.

"Then you'll spend the rest of your life running, doing this thing over and over again," she looked up at him. This time he did reach out to her, grasping her shoulders.

"Why don't you check out of here, come stay at my place for as long as you want to" her eyes widened at his invitation.

"I couldn't," a hint of a smile warmed those dark blue eyes of his.

"Yeah you could. I won't take no for an answer," the thought of her staying with him at his home was more appealing, more right, the more that he thought about it. She sighed.

"If you think that you could put up with me?" he rolled his eyes and she smiled.

"Alright. Let me get my stuff together," she turned and he caught hold of her wrist.

"Want me to help you pack?" he asked. She just nodded.

He followed her to her room. Actually it was a suite and he blinked at the sheer size and opulence of it. Kate didn't seem to notice it as she left her room key on the coffee table in the living room. Maybe it was his Chino blood but places like these always left him mildly awestruck, even though he could afford to stay in such a place himself if he wanted to.

He followed her into the bedroom and the king sized bed made his step falter slightly and he glanced towards her as she began finding suitcases, opening wardrobes and piling clothes in. He walked towards her, seeing the way she just flung items of clothing into the cases instead of folding them neatly.

"Hey," he grasped her wrist and she looked at him quizzically.

"There's no real rush is there?" his voice was mildly questioning. He drew her into his arms and just held her, feeling the warmth of her body melt into his. She smelled good, the faint hint of warmed in perfume that she'd probably sprayed on fresh that morning. It drifted around his senses and for a second he just closed his eyes.

"Ryan?" his eyes opened at her whisper and he looked into her eyes. There was a smile in them.

"Ever made love in a hotel suite?" she murmured and his eyes widened slightly and he was sure he could feel the beginning of a blush stain his cheeks.

"Uhh…can't say that I have," he replied and her smile widened into a wicked, sexy grin.

"I don't have to check out til tomorrow…if you want to that is…" she began to unfasten his already loosened tie and slide it from beneath his collar.

"Would that be an invitation?" he suggested, standing still as she unbuttoned his shirt one button at a time, the process taking far too long in his mind. She glanced up through her eyelashes and his stomach dipped in response. She finally had the final button undone and she peeled it from his shoulders. She pressed a hot, open-mouthed kiss against the side of his neck and his eyes closed briefly at the contact. She tipped her head back slightly.

"Definitely an invitation," she informed him. He smiled into her eyes.

"That's good," he sighed and then groaned when her wandering hands headed downwards, to his aching groin.

"Oh man," he hissed, arching slightly against her.

The cases were pushed unceremoniously onto the carpet. Kate pushed Ryan onto the bed and he watched her as she shimmied out of her white skirt and top to stand there in white lace panties that were stark against tanned skin. Her bra matched, looking so delicate that it could fall apart with just the slightest touch. He had to wonder at the creation of such a thing, that something so fragile looking could push up and accentuate and give him the most potent hard-on known to man. Maybe some guys got their rocks off with the whole black lace and garter-belt deal but give him a gorgeous woman, a gorgeous _blonde_ woman in simple white lace and he was happy.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Fifteen:**

_Ryan stared into the full-length mirror and sighed, fiddling with the knot in his tie. It was Valentines Day and there was a ball being held at the Country Club to raise funds for some heart charity, he forgot which. There were events such as this one regularly and after a while they blended into each other. All that he knew was that as part of the Cohen family, and with Kirsten being head of the Newport Group, they had to attend. He surveyed himself in the mirror. Black suit, white shirt, and black tie. His hair was combed into submission and he was presentable. But still he frowned. Today was the day for lovers, love was everywhere, and Cupid's arrow was on target as always. If he was to be absolutely honest, then he was feeling a little left out. Seth was happily hooked up with Summer and more often than not he felt a bit like a third wheel. Automatically his mind went to Kate. He was really in to her, not that she knew anything about it. It felt a bit like the Marissa situation, good friends with a slight undercurrent, at least he would like to think so. Okay, maybe scratch the whole 'like Marissa stuff', she was nothing like her, except being related to the richest man in town, that she hated her mother and loathed her stepfather even more… he frowned…maybe he was wrong… he sighed, shaking his head. Right now to Kate, the most important thing in her life was her music. She'd never once given him the slightest hint that she was interested in anything other than friendship. _

_He saw her straight away as they made their entrance. Ryan hovered near Kirsten and Sandy as they said their hellos and indulged in small talk. She stood across the room, vibrant in a red dress. Her normally tousled hair was neatly pinned up and she looked stunning. Ryan took a deep breath as he stared at her. She looked honest to God bored. Maybe she'd like a bit of company. He turned his head to glance at his foster parents and then looked back to where Kate had been standing to see that she'd disappeared. He looked through the crowds of people and quickly saw her again. Someone was handing her a drink and she smiled at him. He was tall, handsome with dark hair, he also looked wealthy and she looked happy. He swallowed down a surge of jealousy. Kate wasn't interested in him romantically, had never given him the slightest inclination, he had no right to feel this way but it didn't mean that he didn't._

_Kate sipped at her soda, the words of her companion going in one ear and out of the other. She had even forgotten his name but he was the son of a colleague of Marshall's. He and her mother had insisted that she attend tonight when all she wanted to do was either curl up in front of the television or talk to Ryan about the rip off that was Valentine's Day. But her mother showed up at her door with a designer dress and insisted, no…forced her to attend and already she was bored out of her skull. She scanned the hoards of faces here tonight and saw Seth on the dance floor with Summer, completely enveloped in each other as always. If those two weren't fighting then they existed only for each other, they were a strange couple at the best of times but they worked. She frowned slightly. If Seth was here, then surely Ryan would be too? Her eyes scanned the faces more rapidly but she couldn't see him._

_It was a little later and Kate had shaken off the son of her stepfather's friend and was getting herself something to drink._

"_It's Kate isn't it?" a male voice enquired, Kate turned and saw Seth's father standing behind her. _

"_Hi Mr Cohen, yeah, it is," she smiled. _

"_Enjoying yourself?" she shrugged. _

"_Well if you're looking for the boys, Ryan is outside if you want to say hello, I'm sure he'd appreciate it," he indicated the double doors and the groups of people milling around. Kate nodded._

"_Thanks" she replied and headed outside._

_He was standing with his back to her, staring out across the gardens. He turned when he heard footsteps and smiled briefly when he saw her._

"_Didn't think this was your kind of thing" she commented coming to stand beside him. _

"_It isn't usually but it doesn't mean that I don't attend. You look nice" she glanced down at her dress and then looked back at him, wrinkling her nose._

"_Thanks. Mom's choice unfortunately. Somehow I don't think my jeans and t-shirt combo's would've been appropriate tonight," she replied. She reached across and smoothed the lapel of his jacket._

"_You brush up pretty good yourself, Armani?" he shrugged._

"_No idea. Kirsten is the expert in all things designer label," he replied with another smile. She made a show of straightening an already perfectly straight tie and smiled into his eyes._

"_She has excellent taste," _

"_I'll be sure to tell her that" he murmured. _

_They went back inside and Kate felt infinitely calmer that she had Ryan by her side. She caught her mother's eye from across the room, noticed the marble-cold glare emanating from her eyes and was very tempted to smile back. She didn't know who Ryan was, and because he wasn't the date she'd personally approved, Kate knew there would be trouble. She turned her head and glanced at Ryan who seemed oblivious to her mother's evil eye. _

"_Why don't we dance?" she suggested and Ryan looked at her, mildly horrified and she frowned._

_"What? Don't you dance?" he shrugged._

"_Not particularly well," he admitted. She slipped her hand into his._

"_Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" and he followed her onto the already busy dance floor. The music was slow, romantic and Ryan's gut churned. Of course they'd play romantic music, it was Valentine's Day. He took a deep breath and relaxed. All they were doing was dancing, nothing else, it was no big deal. _

_He wasn't such a bad dancer after all, Kate realised. He possessed a little more grace than some of the guys she'd danced with in the past and he held her gently but not possessively and she liked that. His hair felt soft against her cheek and he smelled good, incredibly good she realised, her stomach pitching a bit. Okay, now where had that come from? She mentally banished those thoughts from her brain and briefly closed her eyes._

_A little while later, Kate watched as a piano was pushed onto the stage and her heart thumped in her chest. She glanced at Ryan who looked at her._

"_You wanted to sing didn't you?" her eyes widened as she realised what was going on._

"_Did you do this?" she hissed. He shrugged. _

"_When you sing at The Bait Shop, you get a lot of interest. I know how much you love performing, and now's your chance. I spoke to the band and they're willing to give you a slot for tonight," Kate looked back at the stage. She knew that her mother and step dad would be extremely pissed off if she did this. That gave her pause and then she smiled. She leaned across and pressed a kiss on his cheek and he blinked at her in surprise._

"_Thank you," she told him. _

_Ryan watched her as she was introduced and she walked across the small stage to the piano. He'd heard her play guitar when she'd managed to get the time to perform at The Bait Shop and he had accidentally discovered her playing piano at school one lunchtime and realised just how talented she was. Some singers were blessed with a great voice but Kate had the ability to sing and to play a variety of instruments. She'd played and sang back at school without realising that he was there to witness it. And he'd been blown away. He wanted the rest of Newport Beach to see that talent for themselves. _

_It was just Kate playing piano, singing a composition that Ryan didn't recognise and assumed that it was one of her own. He watched the audience watching her and felt a spurt of satisfaction. She was good and they all realised that. She seemed oblivious to the people around her as her clear voice echoed around the ballroom. When it ended, there was a brief silence before the applause began to ring out and then came the requests for an encore. He turned his head when he sensed someone beside him and saw Marissa standing there, watching Kate. _

"_She's really good" _

_"Yeah, she is, isn't she? You should hear her when she's at The Bait Shop," Marissa looked at him._

"_You sound like her manager. You organised this tonight didn't you?" he just shrugged._

"_Aren't you glad that I did? This party ran the serious risk of being really boring," a brief smile flashed across her face._

"_I'm glad,"_

_When Kate came off stage a little while later, she was literally glowing. People surrounded her, offering congratulations and words of praise. She found Ryan standing to the side of the stage. She hugged him, and surprised by the force of her embrace, he couldn't help but hug her back. _

"_Thank you," she murmured into his ear. She looked at him, to see the puzzled expression on his face._

"_You already said that," he told her. She smiled and shrugged. _

"_So I'm saying it again. I appreciate that you did it for me," She seemed lit up from within and Ryan had a sneaking suspicion it wasn't entirely to do with her performance, but she wasn't saying anything. _

"_Katherine," Ryan turned his head and saw the woman standing beside him. Not as tall as Kate, but her hair was the same shade and her eyes were icy blue. Ryan then noticed that Kate seemed to deflate slightly and he looked again. This had to be her mother. The older woman literally glared at Ryan as she reached across and took her daughter's arm. _

"_We're leaving now," she told her. Kate glared at her._

"_No we're not," she replied. The ice in the woman's eyes deepened. Ryan almost shivered. _

"_I can bring her home Mrs Cole," he offered. The woman didn't even look at him._

"_That's very kind of you…"_

_"Ryan" he supplied. She glanced at him._

"_Ryan. But Katherine is leaving with her father and I immediately, it's been a tiring evening" Ryan watched Kate wince and saw that her grip had tightened on her arm. _

"_It's not a problem Mrs Cole. I don't mind bringing Kate home later" Ryan intervened _

"_What did you say your name was?" she demanded and Ryan blinked before replying._

"_My name is Ryan Atwood Mrs Cole, my guardians are Sandy and Kirsten Cohen," he felt he had to explain. Something seemed to click in Vivian's eyes._

"_Oh yes. Atwood. The boy who burned down Caleb Nichol's model home, one of Sandy Cohen's charity cases. I've heard all about you. Why don't you stick to interfering in Marissa Cooper's life? I've heard you got really proficient in that, don't even think of getting involved in my daughter's" Ryan went pale at the attack and Kate looked horror-stricken._

"_Mother!" she hissed. Vivian looked at her._

"_It's common knowledge Katherine. He's nothing but trouble. Let's go," and without a pause, yanked Kate away. Ryan could only stare after them, cold with shock and deep anger. _

"_What the hell just happened there?" Ryan straightened when he heard Sandy's voice._

"_I've just met the woman who makes Julie Cooper look like a novice," Ryan murmured._

**Chapter Sixteen:**

A single light glowed. Ryan lay in the king sized bed and stared up at the ceiling. Kate lay beside him, snuggled into him, sleeping. He looked at her. Her face was hidden by that tumble of hair. He reached across and gently moved it over one tanned shoulder. Her eyes were closed, her breathing was even and it looked as though she was dreaming, judging by the soft smile that curved her lips. She looked peaceful.

He helped her to pack the last of her clothes. All around them were suitcases of all shapes and sizes. He looked at her.

"You pack for the long haul, don't you?" he half teased and she smiled at him.

"I don't plan on going back to Los Angeles ever again. Everything that I own is in these bags" he looked dubiously at them and then back at her.

"Everything?" She rolled her eyes.

"Almost everything. All my clothes anyway," she amended.

She watched him load the cases into the back of his SUV and was amazed that he'd gotten them all inside without having to plan a second trip. She'd checked out, if there were any paparazzi in the lobby then they didn't approach her and for that she was glad.

"Ready to go?" she looked at him.

"Let's get out of here," she replied.

The route was coastal all the way. She wound down the passenger window a little and inhaled the salty air. She could hear the rush of the waves, the water crashing against distant rocks.

A while later they arrived at a set of ornate iron gates. Kate watched them glide open and she looked at him in surprise as they drove through. He glanced at her.

"Not what you expected, huh?" she could only shake her head.

"Well I like my privacy too. You'll be okay here, no one will hassle you. We're right on the coast and the beach below is private and there's nowhere for the press to hang about to take secret pictures of you" he parked in front of his house and looked at her. She leaned over and kissed him.

"What was that for?" she drew back and smiled at him.

"For being you, that's all" she replied.

The house was smaller than the others they'd passed en route. She waited as he unlocked the door and followed him inside as he went to disengage the alarm. She walked into a huge lobby with white painted walls and a blue and white tiled floor. Straight ahead of her were huge patio doors that led out onto a balcony and a devastating view of the ocean. She walked towards it. Ryan had left it plain, beach chairs and an ornate white painted iron table the only furniture. She could imagine him sitting here at sunset, or enjoying the heat of the day. She turned and saw him coming back into the house, a couple of her suitcases in his hands. She started forwards.

"No, it's okay. Look around and get to know the place. I have this" he assured her. She stopped in her tracks.

"Just so you know, I'm not a diva. I'm quite willing to carry my own luggage," she assured him and was rewarded by a brief smile.

"I know, but I know you're the curious type so consider yourself relieved of luggage duty," and he vanished through a door to the left of her. Piqued, she followed him through to a corridor. To the left she discovered the lounge, which was comfortably furnished with a huge picture window giving her the same view of the ocean as before. Across from the living room was a staircase that obviously led to the first floor. She decided that a more detailed exploration of the lounge could wait and she followed him upstairs.

The upper floor was huge. From the outside the property looked deceptively small but inside was another story. Ryan had utilised every inch of space. The four bedrooms were spacious and flooded with natural light. Three of the rooms she discovered were bedrooms, the fourth and smallest, he'd converted into an office.

"You want to choose a bedroom?" Ryan invited. He turned to look at her, waiting for her response. A minute ticked by.

"Do you want me to?" he smiled a little and glanced away.

"I asked first," she smiled and walked towards him.

"Can I share with you?" His smile widened.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Seventeen:**

Ryan watched her as they walked along the shoreline in companionable silence. Her expression was guarded, the way she kept looking to the sheer cliff face, it was as though she expected someone to pop out and start taking pictures.

"Hey" her head snapped around to look at him.

"You're safe here. I promised you that you would be and you are," he told her. She smiled in faint embarrassment. He stopped walking, which in turn forced her to do the same. She looked at him enquiringly.

"You've probably had promises made to you that have always been broken but I'm not them Katie, I will keep you safe," She touched his face, placing the palm of her hand against his cheek, feeling the rough stubble rasp against her skin.

"I know you will, and I believe you. Old habits die hard I guess" she replied quietly, barely audible above the rushing of the waves. She leaned towards him and kissed him. He let go of her hand and brushed the hair from her face as she drew back. Another kiss and he wanted more.

They sat in the sand and watched the sun begin to set. Ryan slid his arm across her shoulders and she leaned into him. He rested his cheek against her hair as they watched the day fade into dusk.

"Hey, you made front page!" Kirsten announced. Ryan frowned at her as he dropped his satchel by his desk. He watched her dump a pile of newspapers down in front of him. He picked up the top copy as he sat down. As if by magic, Kerry appeared, carrying a cup of coffee. Ryan frowned when he saw the pictures splashed across the front page, all announcing the 'discovery' of Kate Carpenter, who'd 'disappeared' in Los Angeles and resurfaced in Newport Beach. There were pictures taken from the beach, of them walking hand in hand, heads lowered, hands linked, the conversation they'd had about her being with him, the way he looked at her and touched her face and kissed her, it was all there for public consumption. He felt sick and dropped the newspaper back down. He looked up at Kirsten.

"They hassled her at the diner, something they've neglected to mention"

"Is she okay?" Kirsten's voice softened with concern. He shrugged.

"She will be, I suppose. She's a little freaked out and for now she's staying with me" A smile briefly appeared on her face.

"You always were the white knight Ryan," she reminded him.

_Ryan worried about Kate for the rest of the weekend. He'd called her cell phone countless times to see if she was okay and instead was directed to voice mail. He lost count how many messages he'd left for her to call him but she never did. He hadn't liked the look on her mother's face when she'd dragged her away and he had a feeling that turning up unannounced would make things ten times worse. _

_She was sitting in class when he arrived the Monday after and initially he sighed in relief that she was safe and sound. He'd suffered through all sorts of possible scenarios since Saturday night, not one of them good. _

"_Don't you check your cell phone any more?" he asked her, dropping down into the seat beside her. She just looked at him. _

"_I've been busy, that's all" she replied sharply and he frowned. _

"_Was your mom really pissed at you on Saturday night?" he asked, his tone more hesitant. She shrugged one shoulder._

"_No more than usual I suppose" He watched her._

"_Don't do that," she snapped and he straightened._

"_Don't do what?" he retorted and she glared at him._

"_Stare at me like I'm some specimen under a microscope. I'm okay" He opened his mouth to argue but then decided against it. She wasn't okay, she was damned miserable and he wanted to know why._

"_For what it's worth, you were great on Saturday night and I'm not the only one who thinks so," he told her in a low voice. She didn't react._

_She appeared at the pool house a few days later. He let her in without comment, frowning briefly at the look in her eyes. _

"_I'm sorry just to show up like this," she apologised as she slipped past him. _

"_It's okay, I don't mind. Everything okay?" she glanced at him over her shoulder and shrugged restlessly. He closed the door and walked towards her. _

"_It's nothing I can't handle," she dropped down on the edge of his bed. Then she sighed._

"_My mom has been a pain in the ass since Saturday. Ever since she met you," he sat down beside her, regarding her._

"_We're friends Katie, aren't you allowed to have friends?" she looked at him. _

"_Sure. Just not you. Your reputation precedes you," Ryan shrugged._

"_Nothing I can do about that I'm afraid," _

"_It doesn't bother me, by the way. What you may or may not have done in the past because that's where it stays" he looked at her for a long moment._

"_Thanks. I appreciate it" He watched her open her tote bag and take out a small white card. _

"_I've kept this hidden since Saturday night and you're the first person I've told, but this guy was at the party, he liked what he heard and wants to hear more of my stuff," she handed it to him and he looked at it. It held the name of a scout for a very reputable record company. He looked at her, to see her eyes wide. For the first time since the party on Saturday, there was some life in her eyes. He handed the card back to her and watched her slide it back into her bag. _

"_What are you going to do?" she took a deep shaky breath._

"_I'll be eighteen in a few days. I'm going to go to Los Angeles, see him and see what happens. Whatever happens, I don't intend on coming back here, ever," Ryan's eyes widened at her pronouncement. _

"_You're leaving? But what about graduation?"_

"_I don't care about that anymore. What good is a graduation scroll going to do when I have no intention of going to college?"_

"_What if a music career doesn't work out for you? What then?" she looked at him and frowned, the sparkle in her eyes dimming slightly._

"_You sound like my mother, she's convinced that I'll amount to nothing. Even if it doesn't happen, I don't know, maybe I'll go to night school, get my GED, I don't care, I just want to get out of here," Ryan sighed._

"_Okay, so you're going to leave. What's that got to do with me?" _

"_I need to ask you for a favour, and you don't have to do it if you don't want to," she paused, scanning his face._

"_Name it," he told her. _

"_I need to store some stuff, clothes, some money, my guitar. My mom will get ultra suspicious if she sees me shipping stuff out all in one go. Could I stash them here til its time for me to leave?" he lowered his head to stare at his feet. Then he lifted his head and looked at her._

"_Why don't I drive you into L.A?" her eyes widened again._

"_I don't want you to get involved Ryan," he shrugged._

"_It's a bit late for that now isn't it? You've involved me just by telling me" he frowned as she got to her feet._

_  
"Where are you going?" he stood up too and followed her to the door._

"_Not getting you involved. Don't worry, I'll think of something else," _

"_Wait!" but it was too late, she'd gone, leaving the door wide open in her wake. He sighed raggedly and slowly walked back to his bed, sitting back down on it. He put his head in his hands. She was planning on leaving the first opportunity that she got. Something was seriously up with her but she wouldn't or didn't want to open up to him. _

**Chapter Eighteen:**

Contracts were signed and Cohen and Atwood were officially hired to renovate The Bait Shop. Kate watched the work begin in earnest, watched the scaffolding go up. Ryan had forecast that the work would take about three months to complete; she hoped that he was right.

She woke up alone. For a moment she wondered where Ryan could've gone. Today was Saturday, which normally meant no work for him, well not an entire day's work. He had told her that he worked enough hours through the week to work weekends too and she agreed with him. But she knew that sometimes he drove into Newport to check on projects, see how they were doing and if there were any improvements to be made or problems to be solved. She turned her head and saw his watch on the bedside cabinet and knew he never went anywhere without it so he couldn't have gone far. She sat up and listened and she heard him talking to someone and she wondered why she hadn't heard the phone ring.

She made her way downstairs. Ryan stood in the lobby and he was dressed. He wore faded jeans and a white t-shirt, the sleeves tight against his biceps. He was talking to someone and as she took a couple of steps forwards, she saw who Ryan's visitor was. Marissa Cooper.

"Ryan?" he turned around at the sound of his name.

"Hey, you're awake," he walked towards her and pressed a kiss on her cheek as she self-consciously pulled the lapels of the thin silk robe she was wearing closer together.

"I was just wondering where you were. I didn't realise that we had guests," she eyed Marissa warily and she stared right back at her, as if unable to believe her own eyes.

"You remember Marissa, don't you?" Kate nodded, her mouth suddenly going a little dry. Nobody forgot Marissa Cooper. There was a little girl standing beside her, her arms around Marissa's waist. When she saw Kate, her eyes widened and she straightened up.

"You're Kate Carpenter!" she exclaimed and Kate blushed a little. She looked at the little girl, who was about seven years old.

"I am. You must be Mia, that's a beautiful name," she replied. The child stole a glance at her mother and then smiled.

"Mom said that she knew you from school, is that true?" Kate nodded.

"Yes, it's true, we did," Mia's eyes rounded. Those eyes were a beautiful vivid shade of blue. Kate looked up at Marissa who was watching her carefully. She was still as skinny as she remembered, her skin pale. There were brownish shadows smudged beneath her eyes. She looked tired and she wondered whether it was because her daughter was the precocious handful she seemed to be.

"I'd better go upstairs and get dressed. Nice to see you again Marissa, nice to meet you Mia," she murmured, turned and disappeared from view.

"What is Kate Carpenter doing here?" Marissa demanded.

"It's a long story. Want some breakfast?" without waiting for her response, he turned towards the kitchen and headed for it. Marissa and her daughter followed.

"I'm not hungry," Marissa answered and watched as Mia climbed onto a kitchen chair and made herself comfortable.

"Can I have a cup of coffee Ryan?" she asked. Ryan glanced over his shoulder. He smiled softly.

"You'll have milk and like it young lady," he responded, going to the fridge. The girl smiled.

"It was worth a shot," she replied with a shrug. He laughed as he placed a half filled glass in front of her.

"Haven't you heard? Coffee stunts your growth," he quipped and was rewarded by Mia's laughter.

Ryan went out onto the balcony and stared out across the beach, over the sea. He turned his head upon hearing a footstep and saw Marissa approaching. She came to stand beside him and he went back to studying the view.

"You normally call in advance when you're planning to visit"

"I wish that I had now. How long have you been involved with Kate?" he glanced at her.

"Don't try and change the subject" he looked at her more fully. She regarded him for a second or two.

"We needed a change of scenery, is that a problem? Because if it is, we could stay at my parent's place instead" he shook his head slightly.

"You know it's not a problem. You just caught me by surprise" Marissa didn't reply and a couple of minutes of companionable silence drifted by.

"So, is Kate living here?" He sighed.

"You just don't give up do you? Has Summer been giving you lessons all of a sudden?" he teased and Marissa flashed a smile at him.

"So?"

"She's living with me" he clarified and her eyes widened.

"Wow. Is it serious? I suppose it has to be if she's living with you" Ryan turned to look back over the beach and he shrugged.

"I'm not sure. Maybe. Right now we're just having a good time getting to know each other again," he responded.

"I'm glad. You always had a thing for her," his head snapped around and he stared at her. She looked at his shocked expression and smiled again.

"Well you did! It wasn't a big secret,"

"To me it was. I never told anyone and she never knew," Marissa moved closer to him.

"It was in your eyes all the time Ryan," she informed him.

Kate felt invigorated after her shower. She went into the kitchen and paused briefly when she saw Mia sitting at the kitchen table, a glass of milk in front of her. Her back was to her. Kate took a deep breath and went the rest of the way inside, to the fridge in search of some fruit juice.

"Are you Ryan's girlfriend?" Kate snagged a bottle of orange juice and turned to look at Mia.

"Well I'm a girl and I am his friend, so yeah I am," she responded. She was rewarded by an eye roll so like Ryan's that her heart momentarily faltered in her chest.

"That's not what I meant," Kate could barely swallow a smile.

"I know that's not what you meant, but that's the answer you're going to get," Mia sighed.

"You grown ups are all the same, it's no fun being a kid," she grumbled and Kate almost choked on her juice.

"But look at what you get to look forward to," she teased. She then drained her glass and headed for the patio doors.

"Where are you going?" Mia enquired. Kate glanced at her.

"To the beach, it's where I do my stretching exercises," she replied. Mia seemed to ponder this.

"Can I come with you?" Kate was taken aback that the child would ask her if she could, considering that they'd only just been introduced. She shrugged.

"Only if it's okay with your mom, then sure," she replied and watched her slip off her seat and go in search of Marissa. She followed her out and saw her standing shoulder to shoulder with Ryan, looking out across the beach. She swallowed against the jealousy that threatened to rear its ugly head.

"Can I please mom?" she heard Mia beseech. Marissa looked at Kate and she could see the doubt clearly in her eyes.

"She's very welcome if that's okay with you" she felt compelled to add. Marissa looked back at her daughter.

"Alright. But be sure to do what Kate tells you and you are on your best behaviour" Mia nodded and turned to look at Kate.

"Let's go"

Walking along the shore as she normally did, the morning breeze was cool and a little on the stiff side. It blew Kate's hair from her face.

"Have you lived here for very long?" Mia asked her. She looked at her.

"Not long,"

"But you've got a big house in Hollywood, why did you come here? Are you on vacation?" Kate shook her head.

"I'm planning to move back here. I used to live here like your mom and Ryan"

"But you're famous! You're in all the newspapers and the magazines and everyone talks about you all the time!" Mia exclaimed and Kate laughed softly.

"Which is why I left. It got too much for me and I couldn't have a life of my own" she looked down at Mia. Her blue eyes were serious as she thought about what Kate had said.

"It mustn't have been much fun,"

"It wasn't" she paused "Want to join in with some stretching exercises?" Mia nodded enthusiastically, the breeze tossing her dark blonde hair about her face.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Nineteen:**

Ryan still stood on the balcony and watched Kate and Mia interact. They seemed to be getting along pretty well judging by the way Kate was smiling at her. Mia was copying Kate's exercises as best as she could and he smiled to himself. He turned to look at Marissa, who was sitting on one of the chairs. If at all possible, she was paler and she looked tired. He frowned.

"You feeling okay?" Marissa looked up sharply.

"I'm fine," He folded his arms, still looking at her.

"You look exhausted. If you want to lie down and sleep, I'll be happy to watch Mia," He watched her as she slowly stood up.

"I am pretty tired," she admitted.

"Then go rest awhile," Marissa looked at him, she walked towards him.

"I didn't come here to palm Mia off on you, or on Kate,"

"I know that. Just go and get some rest. I'll wake you when its lunchtime," he watched her nod and then disappear from view. She walked slowly, like an old woman would and that worried him a little.

"Hey, you guys having a good time?" Kate turned and saw Ryan walking towards them. Mia's face was wreathed in smiles. She ran towards him and he picked her up, resting her against his hip with an ease that told Kate it was a regular occurrence. He walked towards her. Mia was like her mom in build, think, lanky, all arms and legs. Her hair was lighter in colour though, blonde streaks interspersed with honey hued tones. She watched Mia snake her arms around his neck and she brought her head close to his and Kate noticed that their hair colour was also very similar.

"Kate has been showing me some stretching exercises, she said it will help me stay…"

"Supple" Kate provided and Mia smiled at her.

"Mia seems to like you," Ryan murmured and she looked at him. She looped her arm through his as together they strolled along the sand, Mia racing on ahead, hunting out sea shells to show them, dipping her toes into the breakwater.

"What makes you say that?" he glanced at her.

"She's normally very reserved around strangers,"

"Well I'm not exactly a stranger now am I? She's seen me on television, heard my music," Ryan smiled, tugging her close and sliding his arm across her shoulders.

"You know what I mean," he responded and she smiled at him.

Kate looked up as Ryan returned to the kitchen. She was in the process of making sandwiches for everyone after their beach jaunt. She frowned at the thoughtful expression on his face.

"Marissa still sleeping?" he looked at her when he heard her voice and just nodded.

"I thought she'd be awake by now," Kate shrugged.

"Obviously she needs the rest," she commented and placed a couple of sandwiches on a plate that she then put in front of Mia. She glanced at him and noticed he still had that thoughtful expression on his face.

Marissa woke up to the sound of a guitar playing quietly. She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. It had to be Kate. She remembered back in High School that she liked to play, and whenever she did, she drew an audience. The Bait Shop, the Valentines Day Ball came to mind. It made sense that she'd become famous through her music; the natural talent had been oozing out of her even then. A slight frown marred her brow, at least Kate had gone out to achieve what she wanted to, she'd had a goal set in her mind and had accomplished it. What had Marissa done with her life? Lived off a trust fund set up by her father and brought up Mia. She smiled at the thought of her precocious and equally precious child. The one good true thing that she'd done was raise her child and she'd done it away from Newport Beach and all of its influences. The thought of Mia's father sullied that slightly. He still didn't know that he had fathered a child. Slowly she sat up and paused as her head swam. The nap had done to restore energy levels that were fast depleting.

Ryan listened to Kate play. The acoustic notes washed over him and her quiet voice was like a balm. Part of him wondered how many people would swap places with him right now to listen to Kate Carpenter give this rare impromptu performance. Mia was snuggled in a beach chair beside her, listening to her sing, enveloped in her attention. Ryan had followed Kate's career through the media, through watching her videos on the music channels, reading about her in the print media once in a while. He didn't own any of her music though, hadn't gone to see her perform live. He and Marissa had come close to going to see her in Los Angeles, before Mia was born but they hadn't. His attention sharpened when Kate's playing faltered and he turned his head to see Marissa standing in the doorway.

"Don't stop on my account, please, continue, it's lovely" he heard her say and after a brief second, Kate continued.

Ryan watched Kate emerge from the bathroom. The nightgown that she wore was plain, made of white cotton. It flowed against her curves, rather primly and to be honest he couldn't help but find it mildly erotic. It hinted at what was underneath and he was always partial to a hint of what there was rather than seeing it all for show. Hinting was a damned sight more sexy to him than flaunting. He watched her slide into bed beside him and he turned onto his side to look at her more fully.

"You don't mind Marissa and Mia staying here, do you?" his voice was low and she looked at him. Then she smiled.

"It's your home Ryan, you can invite whomever you want to,"

"I should've told you that they come to stay once in a while, it's about as close to Newport Beach as Marissa wants to be. Normally she calls but this time she thought she'd surprise me instead,"

"Well I think she got the surprise this time. Is her relationship with her mom still troubled?"

"Sometimes. Julie always has to be the one in charge and she forgets that Marissa is an adult and a mom herself, so the fireworks can be colourful sometimes,"

"I can imagine" and relate, she silently added. Ryan looked at her.

"I want you to be okay with this Kate, we're still getting to know each other again and with this happening…" Kate placed a finger over his lips. His navy blue eyes tracked up to hers.

"I don't mind, I really don't, so quit worrying," and to prove her point, she leaned down and kissed him. His arm slid around her waist and he dragged her down until she was lying beneath him. No more words were spoken.

-

-

**Chapter Twenty:**

_They were sitting at a table sharing lunch. Ryan listened to his three friends go through their ritualised banter with half an ear. He lifted his head, feeling the spring sunshine warm his skin and caught sight of Kate. She carried her lunch tray and was heading their way. _

"_Hey. This seat taken?" he looked up at her. She glanced at him and then looked away again, instead looking at Marissa._

"_No, go ahead," and she watched as she took the vacant seat beside Ryan. She glanced at Summer and smiled secretively. _

"_I heard its someone's birthday today," Seth commented. Kate looked at him with wide surprised eyes._

"_How did you know?" she breathed. He grinned._

"_I make it my business to know these things Kate. Actually it was Summer who let the cat out of the bag… happy birthday," Ryan watched as Kate actually blushed. It was endearing, to say the least. _

"_And with a birthday, comes cake…and gifts!" Marissa announced and Kate looked honestly shocked._

"_I didn't expect any of this," she breathed as a chocolate iced cupcake complete with a single candle appeared from beneath the table. Marissa placed it in front of her and Ryan lit the singular candle. He watched her stare at it._

_"You have to make a wish," he murmured. She looked at him and blinked away a suspicious sheen in her eyes. She returned her attention to her birthday cupcake and closed her eyes briefly before blowing the candle out. _

"_Now gift time…" Kate looked at Marissa._

"_Oh... no… honestly you know, this is enough. I don't do birthdays as a rule…" her eyes widened when gifts appeared on the table. She swallowed against the huge lump in her throat. The girls had given her clothing gift certificates for an upmarket boutique, Summer assured her that it wasn't as though they thought her style sucked, just that they hadn't been sure what she'd like, or even what her dress size was. Seth had made her a compilation CD of all his favourite bands and singers. Ryan's gift was small but neatly wrapped. She looked at him, to see him regarding her in that intense manner she was getting used to seeing. It was rectangular and flat and as she opened it, she saw a leather bound book. She opened it to see the blank pages._

"_So you have somewhere to write your songs, your thoughts or whatever." Touched, she smoothed her fingers over the pristine paper and looked at him. As she closed it, she noticed her name engraved in gold on the top right hand of the cover. She bit her lip. She didn't cry and wasn't about to start now. She looked at them all in turn. _

"_Thank you. It's really sweet of you to do this for me, I won't ever forget it," she promised. Marissa frowned._

"_You make it sound like you're going somewhere…" she commented. Kate flicked a glance at Ryan._

"_Who knows where we'll be or what we'll be doing in a year's time," she replied._

_One by one, they drifted away until there was only she and Ryan left. They hadn't seen or spoken to each other since her bombshell in the pool house and the atmosphere between them was a little on the heavy side._

"_How have you been?" Ryan asked eventually, hating the silence between them even though he usually welcomed less conversation. _

"_I'm okay," she replied, looking down at the book. _

"_Still planning on going to L.A?" she looked at him then. _

"_I plan on going sometime, I haven't decided when"_

"_I thought you might have changed your mind," the expression in her eyes changed, grew more fiery._

"_To do what? Have a life in Newport Beach? Go to community college and then what after that? Marry the first rich guy that asks and settle to a life of boredom and terminal paranoia?" she flared. Ryan sat back in his seat and regarded her. She calmed down, her cheeks red._

"_I'm sorry. I need to get away from this place before it kills me," she got to her feet, gathered her stuff together and hurried away. _

The thump woke Kate up instantly. Beside her, Ryan stirred.

"What's wrong?" his voice was slurry. Kate sat up and listened.

"I thought I heard something," Ryan sat up beside her and also listened. Then he slipped out of bed, reaching down to pick up his pyjama bottoms from the floor and slip them on.

"Like what?" he looked at her as she switched on the bedside lamp and they both squinted in the sudden brightness. She shrugged.

"Sounded like a thump," Ryan began to walk across the room.

"Maybe Mia has fallen out of bed. I'll go check on her," he told her.

She followed him out of the bedroom and saw that there was a light on in the lobby. Ryan looked at her from over his shoulder.

"You check on Mia, I'll go downstairs and see what's happening," he whispered. She nodded and watched him go to the top of the stairs.

Kate peeped in on Mia and saw her sprawled in her bed, on her stomach, sound asleep. Her blankets were half on the floor. Kate tiptoed over and straightened them up. She stood and looked at the girl for a second or two before tiptoeing out.

Ryan saw the kitchen lights blazing. Whoever was planning on stealing from them wasn't exactly experienced in the art of stealth. He crept across the lobby and stood in the doorway for a second. He then took a deep breath and stepped inside. He started when he saw Marissa sitting at the table. She was sitting with her head in her hands and the stance alarmed him for a moment. She looked as though she were on the verge of tears.

"Marissa?" her head shot up at his quiet voice and she stared wide-eyed at him.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," she apologised, pushing her hair from her face, looking everywhere but at him. He walked towards her.

"You didn't. Kate heard you,"

"Oh" He sat down beside her.

"Are you going to tell me what you're doing up in the middle of the night?" he enquired.

"Couldn't sleep," she replied. It was then that he noticed the broken cup on the tiled floor, and the tipped over stool by the breakfast bar. He glanced at her briefly before sliding off his chair to deal with the mess.

"I'm sorry about that…you know how clumsy I can be sometimes…" she stuttered, watching him pick up the broken shards of china. He glanced at her over one shoulder.

"I remember," he reminded her in a half-teasing tone. His expression then changed and he straightened up.

"Your nose is bleeding," Instantly he handed her a dishtowel as she self-consciously touched her face and her eyes widened when she realised that it was true.

Kate came into the kitchen and saw Ryan with Marissa, holding a dishtowel to her face. She frowned.

"Has there been an accident?" Ryan's head snapped around and she saw the worry for herself. He just shook his head and returned his attention to Marissa. The dishtowel was turning an alarming shade of red. Kate went to get a fresh one, standing beside him ready to hand it to him.

"Perhaps you should take her to the emergency room," she commented. Marissa jerked her head back, holding the towel to her face.

"No! No hospitals, it's just a nosebleed, it'll stop," she reacted.

"It's showing no signs of stopping Marissa, Kate's right, you need to see a doctor about this," Ryan responded. Instead of agreeing, Marissa stood up, shaking her head.

"I said no hospitals," she retorted and they watched her rush away. Ryan felt Kate touch his arm and he turned to look at her.

"Is it just me, or is she hiding something?" He always knew when she was hedging and right now alarm bells were clanging in his brain. Kate shrugged.

"You know her better than I do, but I have to admit, there's something not right about all of this," She stood where she was and watched Ryan clean up, righting the stool, dropping the broken cup into the trash.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Twenty-One:**

"Has Ryan left for work?" Mia's inquisitive voice intruded on Kate's thoughts. She sat at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee, wondering about Marissa's nocturnal events. She turned her head when she heard her and saw her come into the kitchen, in an oversized sleep shirt; a grubby looking toy rabbit looped under one arm.

"You just missed him, he left about ten minutes ago," she replied, watching her come to the table and slip into the chair beside her. Mia frowned.

"I wanted to go swimming today," she grumbled and Kate bit back a smile.

"I'm sure he'd love to go swimming with you honey but he's very busy right now. If you ask him when he gets back, he might agree," Mia looked at Kate. Her eyes looked very blue in the morning sunlight and again that gave Kate momentary pause.

"Is your mom still sleeping?" Kate got up and headed for the refrigerator, taking out some juice.

"Yeah. She does that a lot" Kate frowned as she located a glass for Mia to use. She poured out a small amount and placed it in front of the child. Mia clasped the glass with both hands frowned into it as Kate replaced the juice bottle. Pretty much like Ryan stared into his coffee cup each morning, as if waiting for the brew to give him the answers to whatever was bugging him.

"She does, huh?" Mia took a mouthful of juice and looked at her. She just nodded. Kate regarded her.

"After we've had breakfast, do you think your mom will mind if we take our usual walk on the beach? I'll leave her a note?" she suggested. Mia scowled.

"You don't have to take care of me y'know, I'm not a baby!" the vehemence of her statement took Kate aback a little. It was fierce and protective. Like someone else she knew.

"I know you're not. I could use the company that's all. If you don't want to, then that's okay too," Mia seemed to consider this and then she shrugged.

"I guess she won't mind," she responded.

While Mia got herself dressed, Kate poured herself another cup of coffee and pondered another thought that had come to her. Ryan had been sure to tell her that Mia wasn't his daughter but the idea had began to occur to her during breakfast. The colouring was there; there were aspects of his personality in there too. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Mia also looked startlingly like her mother. Maybe she was mistaken. If Ryan were indeed her father, then wouldn't he know already? She finished her coffee and was in the process of loading the dishwasher when Mia reappeared. She took a couple of seconds to clear away the box of cereal that Mia had nibbled her way through before scribbling a note to Marissa and pinning it to the fridge. Mia smiled at her as she slipped her hand into hers and they headed for the beach.

Marissa saw the note taped to the refrigerator that informed her that her child was at the beach with Kate. She should feel relieved that Mia seemed to have bonded so well with Kate, but despite it all, it niggled at her. Mia was her child, hers alone. Since her birth, they were all each other had and Marissa had been content with that, until a doctor's diagnosis changed that and forced her to face up to some home truths. Last night, she'd felt as though she'd reached absolute rock bottom and the bleed hadn't helped matters. She knew that she had to tell Ryan and maybe she would have but then her nose had begun to bleed and then Kate had appeared with her concern and her talk of emergency rooms and doctors and instead she had panicked. Now she'd woken up at a ridiculously late hour to find the house empty and her daughter with Ryan's lover. And that was another thing that rankled. Kate Carpenter sharing Ryan's life. This world famous singer and songwriter sharing a bed with a guy she'd gone to school with, plain old Ryan Atwood. And Ryan seemed happy to be with her, they seemed to be in love. Marissa sighed irritably; it wasn't like there was anything she could do about that, she and Ryan had been over a long time ago.

"She's asleep, the sea air must've knocked her out," Kate sighed as she dropped onto a chair in the living room. Marissa looked at her.

"I really appreciate what you're doing for Mia, she really likes you," she commented. Kate smiled.

"She's a special kid, it was my pleasure" Marissa smiled in agreement. Mia was a very special kid indeed.

"Haven't you ever thought about getting married and having a family?" she asked her and a shadow seemed to cross Kate's face at her question.

"Never met the right guy to want to settle down with, despite what the media might say,"

"You seem to be linked with every hot Hollywood actor or musician that comes onto the scene," Kate looked at her and rolled her eyes at the same time.

"Because they don't have anything better to do that's all. I meet a guy for lunch and the next day we're about to get married, or if he's married, we're having a torrid secret affair. It's pathetic,"

"I can imagine," Marissa replied drolly and Kate grinned.

"Sorry," A companionable silence fell. Outside it was getting dark. Kate then looked at Marissa for a few seconds. Her heart began to thump in her chest. Should she outright ask her about Mia's parentage? What if she was wrong? And more to the point, how would Marissa react?

"Something bothering you Kate?" Marissa's voice intruded on her warring thoughts. Kate blinked.

"I'm sorry, I was miles away. I was just thinking about Mia this morning at breakfast. Does she always scowl into her juice in the morning?" Marissa laughed.

"Adorable isn't it? Yeah, she does." Kate smiled, nodding.

"And she was eating dry cereal out of the box, she would not entertain the idea of having any milk on it, weird or what?"

"Yeah, Ryan does that too…" Marissa laughed and then her voice faded and she stared at Kate wide-eyed.

"You know don't you?" she accused. A brief but tense silence ensued.

"That Mia is Ryan's? It had occurred to me. You're saying I'm right?"

"Yeah" she replied, her voice barely a croak.

"She's Ryan's?" Marissa nodded and Kate sighed and briefly closed her eyes.

"How did you guess?" she continued. Kate looked at her.

"A culmination of things, she has aspects of his personality, a fierce protective streak a mile wide, then there's the physical side, she has his eyes, the hair colour is close and you confirmed the juice observation. And the cereal thing…I just thought that I was imagining things" Marissa sighed raggedly.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"It's none of my business Marissa, but I do think that he has a right to know, don't you?" she watched tears brim in her eyes and she went over to sit beside her.

"I was going to…I am going to tell him, the right time never happened," she breathed, wiping at her eyes.

"Does Mia know?" she asked softly and Marissa shook her head.

"She's a bright girl, it's only a matter of time before she figures it out for herself, heck I did. She needs to know, they both need to know," she slipped an arm across Marissa's thin shoulders.

"I could stay with you if you think you could use some back up?" she offered and Marissa looked at her.

"That's really sweet of you, but I think it's something I need to do alone," Kate nodded in understanding.

"Okay. When you do decide, let me know and maybe I could take Mia out for the day, do some shopping, take her to see a movie or something?" Marissa frowned at her.

"Why are you being like this?" she demanded.

"Because I remember someone being kind to me on my birthday once. I said I didn't do birthdays and that was because it was just another day to my mother, it was as though she didn't want to be reminded of the anniversary that she pushed me into the world," Kate explained. Marissa looked at her.

"You never talked about your mom even back then," Kate shrugged, removing her arm from around Marissa's shoulders.

"There's nothing much to talk about, we didn't get along, that was it" she replied matter of factly.

"How do you think Ryan will react to the news that he's been a father for the last seven years?" Marissa wondered. Her eyes widened as all the implications began to sink in.

"He's going to hate me, absolutely hate me," she moaned.

"No he won't. It'll be a shock and he'll be angry but he'll never hate you. I just want to know one thing though…were you ever going to tell him?" Marissa looked at her and for a second her expression was distant.

"One day," she admitted almost on a sigh.

**Chapter Twenty-Two:**

_He'd heard a whisper that Kate was performing at The Bait Shop tonight and decided to check it out for himself. She hadn't been performing there regularly. He knew that her mother frowned on her pursuing any kind of a musical career and made things difficult for her on occasion but he remembered how alive she came when she was behind a microphone, singing her songs. He remembered seeing her here for the first time, the way she'd looked at him, how she'd laughed when they'd made their escape from the surfer who'd tried it on with her. She had been confident, headstrong and comfortable. Now she was a former shadow of that. The last thing she'd said to him was that she intended to leave Newport Beach before it killed her. And it had echoed around his head continuously since. _

_The whisper had been a good one, the place was packed out. He saw the piano on the stage; her acoustic guitar set up beside it and ignored the flutter in his stomach. She was here. _

_He stood at the front when she walked on after her introduction. She caught sight of him and she smiled at him. He smiled faintly in response and waited for her to begin. _

_The place became silent as she sang. She didn't need much of a backing band, it was pretty much her and the piano or her guitar and that was all that was needed. _

_He found her sitting in the office a while later. She was slotting her guitar into its case. She turned and saw him standing in the doorway. She didn't look surprised, or mad or anything like that, there was nothing in those eyes. He remembered the expression in her eyes at the Valentines Day ball, the sparkle he'd seen and noticed that it was gone. He saw the big black heavy hold all at her feet that seemed stuffed full of whatever she cared enough to take with her. Then he realised almost at the same time that she was finally leaving._

"_What's this? A farewell performance?" he asked. She shrugged on a jacket and got to her feet._

"_I don't expect you to understand Ryan," she told him. He walked towards her._

"_Understand what? That you're running away? Oh I get that part. I just don't know why" he retorted. She turned to face him._

"_This place, these people, will suffocate me if I stay any longer. I want my own life, on my own terms and I can't have that here!" she hissed. He looked into her eyes and saw that she was right. _

"_There's a bus leaving here in twenty minutes. I intend to be on it and out of here," she told him. _

"_What about your parents?"_

"_They're at a function that I was able to wriggle out of, I'll be long gone before they realise I'm not there to clutter up their lives,"_

"_They'll come looking for you," she shrugged._

"_Let them. I'm eighteen now, they can't do anything about it" Ryan sighed, ignoring the ache in his chest._

"_Want me to walk you to the bus station?" She stared at him and then she smiled._

"_Yeah, I'd appreciate that," she whispered._

_At the bus station, Kate was tense, her expression watchful. He realised that she'd been planning this for a long time and didn't want any last moment hitches. Her bus was already there, waiting, people were boarding. Kate turned to look at him._

"_This is me," she said on a sigh. She couldn't wait to be out of here he realised. She watched him hand her holdall to the driver who loaded it up. She still had her guitar slung over one shoulder, her shoulder bag over the other._

"_You still have my cell number. Call me if you ever need me," he told her. She smiled briefly and nodded. _

"_Or even call me once in a while, just so I know you're okay," she half laughed; it sounded almost like a sob._

"_I'll be okay Ryan," a last call went out. She looked at him._

"_I'd better go," she told him. He went to her and hugged her tightly. They drew apart. Kate stared into his eyes. He lowered his head and kissed her. She began to kiss him back, clinging to him. When he drew back, she was staring at him, eyes wide, almost in surprise. _

"_You'll miss your bus," he told her. A lump was rising in his throat. This was it, actually it. Kate was leaving. She kissed his cheek and then turned and headed to the entrance of the bus. He stood and watched as she climbed aboard and found a seat. She stared at him through the window as the engine roared to life and the bus began to reverse out of the stop. She waved and he waved back, still unable to tear his eyes off her, taking in every last inch of her, because who knew if he would ever see her again. _


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twenty-Three:**

Ryan came home to an empty house. He stood in the lobby and listened. In the past it had been something that he'd been used to, never given a second thought to but now Kate was here, it felt strange. He wondered where everyone was. He walked into the living room and stopped dead when he saw Marissa sitting on the sofa. She seemed to be staring into space. He dropped his satchel on an armchair and watched her start. She then turned her head and looked at him. He scanned her face. Once upon a time she had been his entire existence. The moment he'd seen her, waiting to be picked up by Luke, he'd fallen for her. He'd admired from afar for a little while, she seemed so precious, so untouchable and not for a moment did he even entertain the idea that this spoiled princess would express an interest in a boy from the wrong side of the tracks, a Sandy Cohen rescue case. But she had and he'd fallen instantly and powerfully in love. They had lasted a while, broken up a few times but always gravitated towards each other until it had finally and permanently ended. It had taken him a long time to come to terms with the fact that they were completely done but he had. Now they were the best of friends and he was a responsible 'uncle' to Mia.

He shrugged off his suit jacket and draped it over his satchel.

"Where are Kate and Mia?"

"Kate took her out, shopping, pizza, that kind of thing," Marissa explained.

"Kate did? Wow"

"Why would you say that?" Marissa rose and followed Ryan into the kitchen, watching him open the fridge and take out a bottle of beer. He pulled out a second bottle and offered it to her but she shook her head and he replaced it. She watched him bump the door closed with his hip and open the bottle and take a swig.

"Because since she's been here, Kate hasn't left the property. She gets hassled by the paparazzi," A slight smile drifted across Marissa's face.

"I remember the pictures, you didn't look happy at all," Ryan took another swallow of his beer and rolled his eyes at the same time. Marissa smiled again at the expression. She then took a deep breath.

"Can we talk?" she asked and he looked at her, a faint frown on his face. Marissa looked pale and if he had to be honest, more than a little nervous.

"Sure," he replied.

"Let's go out on the balcony," she invited and began to walk away. Ryan put his bottle on the kitchen worktop and followed.

Marissa stood staring out across the beach. Her arms were folded tightly across her body and she was frowning. He just looked at her for a moment, all of his old alarm bells ringing in his head. He didn't like this.

"What's wrong Marissa?" he demanded and she turned to look at him. She stared at his face.

"It's about Mia," she told him. Ryan frowned.

"Is she okay? Is she sick?" To his relief she shook her head. She went and sat down on one of the chairs. Ryan didn't move.

"Then what is it?" He watched her take a couple of deep breaths, as if gearing up for something. This time he did move, occupying the vacant seat beside her.

"Is this about her father?" he guessed and Marissa started, staring at him with wide blue eyes. Then she nodded. She looked at him for a long moment.

" You're her father, Ryan," she whispered.

For a second he just stared at her.

"What? What are you talking about?" Marissa took a shaky breath, clasping her hands together, her fingers turning white with the tension.

"She's yours," she repeated. He sat back, frowning now.

"No she's not. I asked you, you told me that she wasn't," he retorted, his brain trying to assimilate the fact that he had a child, a daughter.

"I lied," Ryan absorbed that piece of information silently.

"It was the night we were meant to go to the concert," she offered as explanation but Ryan didn't need the reminder. It was stuck vividly in his head. And ironically enough it had been one of Kate's concerts they'd been going to go to. They'd made their way through a bottle or two of wine instead and didn't make the concert at all. A month later Marissa had headed east, to New York and he hadn't seen her for a long time, except for the occasional phone call. The next time she'd shown up, she had a year old child with her, whom she'd introduced as her daughter, Mia. And he had asked then if she had been his daughter and Marissa had looked him in the eye and flat out lied.

Anger bubbled up within him. He'd missed out on years of Mia's development, missed out on that crucial father-daughter connection.

"Why?" he demanded. He stared straight ahead; he couldn't bring himself to look at her, to see the expression on her face.

"I remembered the situation with Teresa, of how noble you were. I didn't want to put you through that again," this time he did look at her and she saw the fury flashing there.

"The difference is that Mia is my child, you stole those years from me deliberately!" Marissa stared at him with huge frightened eyes.

"You still saw her…." Her voice tapered off to a whisper as Ryan glared at her.

"You lied to me! She's mine and it's only now that I find out? Why are you telling me now?" his voice rose. He stood up, walked to the balcony and gripped the railing so tightly that his knuckles turned white. The fury of Marissa's deception roared inside of him, filling his head and heart with a rage so pure that he wanted to scream. A child, he was a father, had been a father for the last seven years to a precious little girl he'd privately come to think of as his own, only to find out that in fact she really was his. Anger raged anew.

"I'm sick Ryan," he wasn't sure he heard her hushed admission and he froze. Slowly he turned and looked at her.

"What?" she looked up at him and then away again, her fingers twisted together.

"I'm sick. I have cancer," she admitted. Right then the wrath left him, left him deflated. He felt his own body tremble as those words replayed in his mind…cancer? He walked back to sit back down, facing her this time. Automatically he reached across and took one of her hands. It was icy cold and he enclosed it between both of his.

"Since when?" she looked at him, sighed raggedly.

"About a year now," she replied and his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open…a year? He tried to search for the right words to say to her. Instead he could only look at her. Yes, her face was thin, porcelain skin pulled over high cheekbones. There were shadows beneath her eyes, he'd put that down to tiredness, being a single parent was the toughest of tasks and could take a lot out of a person. How could he have failed to notice this? Because Marissa was the queen of keeping secrets when it suited her.

"Have…have you had any treatment? What do the doctors say?" she stared into his eyes, blue on blue. Then he realised that his hands had gone cold also.

"It hasn't been working. The doctor's think it's only a matter of time," she whispered to him.

**-**

**-**

**Chapter Twenty-Four:**

He wasn't sure that he'd heard her correctly. He heard her say the words; he wasn't sure whether he'd understood them.

"There has to be a mistake. You're too young," The coldness he'd felt in his hands began to permeate throughout the rest of his body.

"There's no mistake, believe me, I've lost count of all the second opinions I've looked for," her voice wobbled and automatically he squeezed her hand.

"Have they said how…how…" his throat seized up and he couldn't speak.

"It could be weeks," his eyes widened. He looked at her. He leaned across and drew her into his arms and held her to him. He felt her arms slip around his waist and he closed his eyes. In the space of five minutes he'd discovered that he had a child and was going to lose the woman he'd always considered to be his first love. He blinked hard, taking a deep breath. Then he looked at her again.

"That's why you're here isn't it? To tell me about Mia?" he watched her wipe at her eyes and nod at the same time. Then she looked at him.

"I want you to have her…when this is all over. You're her father and I want you to raise her," Ryan blinked as he absorbed this.

"What about your mom and dad?"

"I don't want my mother near her. Her heart can be in the right place sometimes but I remember being Mia's age and miserable and I don't want her to go through that,"

"But I don't know anything about parenting a child," he breathed, fear pure and adulterated flowing through his already shell-shocked system. A small smile crept across Marissa's face.

"Then you learn. How do you think that I coped?"

"You've got a seven year advantage over me, I don't know a thing about being a dad, especially to a little girl,"

"I'll help you. And you have Kate. It's a learning curve Ryan, sometimes you make mistakes and you feel like the worlds' worst parent but then all of a sudden something clicks and it's not so hard, at least til the next bump in the road," Ryan looked at her.

"We'll need to tell them both. Mia and Kate" Marissa just nodded.

"Have you told anyone else about this…about the cancer?" this time she shook her head. Briefly Ryan closed his eyes.

"I can't face them. I can't cope with the thought of seeing the expressions on their faces. You're the only one who knows"

"They need to be told Marissa, it's going to be the hardest thing you've ever had to do but they have to be told," he told her quietly. She looked at him.

"And you'll have me to back you up. I'm going to be with you and Mia every step of the way," he promised.

Marissa was sitting in the kitchen, a cup of coffee in her hands when Kate and Mia returned. Kate watched the little girl run to her mother, chattering a mile a minute about her adventure with Kate. She watched Marissa lift her onto her lap, with a little difficulty, she noticed and listen to her intently. Mia then wrapped her arms around her mother's neck and hugged her and it made Kate smile.

"I'm sorry we took so long, shopping took longer than expected" she held what seemed like a dozen carrier bags in her hands which she lifted slightly.

"I hope you don't mind that I bought Mia some things. If you have a problem with it, it would be no problem to return them," Marissa smiled sadly.

"I don't mind at all, Mia loves to shop and I'm sure she loves everything that you've bought for her," she looked back down at her daughter and hugged her again.

"This is just a fraction of what we got today, there's more in the car," Kate smiled and lowered the bags down by the table. She straightened up, her eyes scanning the kitchen.

"Ryan's on the beach," Marissa told her. She lowered Mia to her feet and led her upstairs for a promised bath and bedtime story.

It was beginning to get dark. Kate's bare feet sank into the cold sand as she walked across the beach to the shoreline. Judging by the tone of Marissa's voice, Ryan now knew that he was a father. She tightened her grip on the flashlight that she carried, keeping it trained ahead of her. She wondered where on the beach he could be? She made her way to an outcropping of rocks that dipped into the sea that dipped straight into the sea. She'd often watched the sea pound those rocks during stormy weather. Maybe he was there.

He was. Silhouetted against the dusk and the dying sunlight, he was starting out across the horizon. He turned his head but didn't say anything, just watched her as she made the easy climb onto the rock beside him.

"Hey," she greeted, settling herself down beside him.

"Hey yourself," he replied in a low voice. She reached out and took his hand. It was freezing cold.

"You're cold. Do you want to go inside?" He didn't pull his hand away and she rubbed it gently between her own. He glanced briefly at the action, then at her and then back out to sea again.

"Not particularly," he replied. She looked at him, at his profile. He was frowning, lost deep in his thoughts.

"Have you been here long?" he just shrugged. She sighed quietly. She had to expect this. It would take time for him to absorb the news that he had a child, to come to terms with it and accept it. He had to realise just what a gift he was getting in having Mia as his daughter.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"About what?" he turned his head.

"I don't know. You tell me. Marissa said you were out here…"

"You know about Mia don't you?" he interrupted, his voice quiet.

"Yeah," she confirmed and she heard him sigh.

"Does Marissa know that you know?" in the fading light he saw her nod.

"She lied to me Kate, I asked her whether Mia was mine and she told me that she wasn't"

"I'm sure it wasn't intentional. She didn't want to put you in the same situation that Teresa did back then?" he looked at her and frowned.

"How did you know about Teresa?" he demanded a little sharply. Then he rolled his eyes.

"Seth," he sighed.

"I didn't know back then whether that kid was mine or not, Mia is mine," his voice rose and her heart ached for him.

"It's not as though Marissa deliberately kept you out of Mia's life, from what Mia has said and from what I've witnessed, you see a lot of her," Ryan looked away, back across the horizon.

"Even though Marissa and me have been over for a long time, I would've taken care of my daughter. I would've provided for her, she kept that away from me"

"You can't have those years back Ryan, you know now and all you can do is move forwards, sort out a visitation arrangement with Marissa and take it from there. You can be a father to Mia now," Kate told him. He looked at her.

"That isn't the worst part Katie…Marissa is…she's… dying," his voice was barely above a whisper. Kate stared at him wide-eyed.

"What?" she whispered in disbelief. Ryan seemed to be staring at a spot somewhere over Kate's shoulder, reliving the moment Marissa had told him the news. He shrugged.

"Cancer. She won't go into details. She wants me to raise Mia,"

"Oh my God" Kate breathed as she realised the possibilities. He looked at her.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: A bit of smut in C 25. Don't read if you are offended by smut. **

**Chapter Twenty-Five:**

Ryan stood in the doorway and watched his daughter sleep. His child. Every time he said that to himself, it was like a punch to the gut. Ryan Atwood, father. The phrase whispered continuously around his brain. Mia was sound asleep, on her stomach. Her blankets were almost on the floor again, one leg in view. A raggedy looking toy rabbit under one out flung arm. He crept in and straightened the bedding, making sure that she was adequately covered, comfortable. He stood by her bedside and watched her sleep, her hair a blonde streaked tangle on the pillow. A lump rose and knotted in his throat. He turned and sat down on the small chair in the corner of the room and rested his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees. He drew in a deep shuddering breath. Then he lowered his hands and tipped his head back to stare sightlessly up at the moon washed ceiling, his eyes wet with unshed tears.

He still hadn't come to bed. Kate sat up and listened. The house was quiet. She slipped out from beneath the covers and went in search of him. He was in the bedroom he'd converted into a home study/studio, behind his drawing board. He looked up when he came in.

"Can't sleep?" he asked. She came further inside.

"I should be asking you that. Do you know what time it is? You have to be up early in the morning." He put down his pencil.

"You should go back to bed," he told her. She shrugged. He watched her sit on his chair behind his desk.

"Only if you come with me," she slipped off the chair and walked towards him. All that she wore was a white t-shirt that fell to mid thigh, affording him a great view of her long legs. He watched her approach him. He turned in his seat to face her. He watched her place her hands on his chest, palms down and smooth the material slowly, her fingers dipping between the buttons and he felt his pulse hitch when he felt her nails gently scratch at his skin. He stood up as she began to unfasten the buttons. She looked at him, and he kissed her. He grabbed at her waist and lifted her slightly and walked with her until her back connected with a wall. She gasped as thethumpmade the breath hiss from her lungs. She slid her arms around his neck, pressing herself up against him. He yanked her t-shirt up and in the next second was dragging her underwear down. Her hands reached for his belt buckle, for the zipper and she was freeing him, eager for him. She gasped as he thrust into her and for a second he was motionless, allowing himself to feel her around him. She opened her eyes and stared into his. Her heart was pounding from seeing this different side to him. Right now it both scared and exhilarated her.

It was fast and all she could do was brace herself and hang on. With every brutal plunge it created an exquisite sensation inside of her that quickly built up to a frantic crescendo. Her release felt like an explosion and she would've screamed if Ryan hadn't kissed her then, swallowing down her exclamation. He kept on thrusting until with a whispered, agonised gasp, he emptied himself into her. Silence fell after that, all that she could hear was him trying to breathe, felt the pounding of his heart against her own. With agonising slowness he withdrew. Neither spoke. He kept his head pressed against her shoulder, the side of her neck and she became aware of the softness of his hair against her cheek.

"I'm sorry, God I'm so sorry," he whispered. Kate wanted to reassure him that it was okay, that she understood, kind of, but the words wouldn't emerge. Instead she wrapped her arms around him and held him.

---

He lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He turned his head and looked at Kate. She lay on her side, her back to him. He looked back up at the ceiling and swallowed. His gut churned as he remembered what had happened between them in his studio. Despite his background, his early upbringing, he had never ever treated a woman the way he had treated Kate and shame warred with the churning. He had lost control. Since Marissa had told him about her illness it was as though he'd switched off internally. He went through the motions of living, of talking, of existing but inside nothing was happening. With Kate, he'd been trying to feel something, anything. And he'd lost it.

---

The interior of the Bait Shop was currently nothing more than scaffolding, rubble and dust. Soon it would begin to take shape and privately Kate was looking forward to seeing the final result. She knew that he was in here; she could hear the banging and crashing of him tearing out the old fixtures and fittings. She guessed that he needed something physical to tear apart. It had been a touchy few days since the studio. He'd been very quiet at breakfast, almost sullen and she'd watched him, her heart aching for him. He'd left for work in jeans, a wife beater and an old faded shirt, unbuttoned of course. Dressed for physical exertion. She went in search of him and soon found him. The shirt had been discarded and he stood there in his jeans and wife beater, coated in a thin covering of plaster dust.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded. Ignoring the prickle of annoyance at his greeting, she held up a brown paper bag instead.

"Lunch," she replied. He just looked at her.

"You can leave it over there, I'm not hungry right now," he instructed her, pointing across the room. Kate just looked at him and didn't move.

"You need to eat something, a cup of coffee isn't breakfast," she reminded him.

"And if I wanted my mother, I would've asked for her" he retaliated.

"If your mother had ever given a damn about you in the first place, I'd have gotten her for you!" she snapped back. They just stared at each other. Then she sighed.

"Fine," she replied, turned on her heel and slowly walked across to where he'd directed and dropped the brown bag and accompanying bottle of juice down beside his discarded shirt.

"Kate…Kate..." she felt his hands on her arms and he turned her around. She looked at him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you," he apologised. She stared at a dusty smear on his cheek.

"The other night…Ryan… it doesn't matter…I understood why," he lowered his head, releasing his hold on her.

"It matters to me… I didn't mean for it to happen…like that… I …I never meant to..."

"I know Ryan… as I said, I understand" she assured him. He looked at her, his expression wary.

"You're in shock, you're worried about the future, and I get that…"

"You get it? Then please, help me to understand because I'm not getting it at all!" he retaliated, suddenly angry all over again. Like a match to a touch paper, it ignited and heated. He spun away from her and walked across what had once been the dance floor then stopped.

"I just found out that I'm a father, that soon I'm going to be a single father…" he turned around and looked at her. His eyes were anguished, tortured. She went to him.

"Why does Marissa want me to raise her? What kind of a role model am I? Her grandmother died an alcoholic, her grandfather and uncle are both in jail doing long term heavy duty prison sentences… what the hell am I doing even_contemplating_ being a father to this kid?" Kate stared at him in amazement.

"You're not those people Ryan. You were always the smarter one. You take care of those around you, you always have. And it comes naturally to you." He looked at her.

"But blood will out, isn't that what they say? After all I'm an Atwood!"

"You're a successful architect, you've worked for everything that you've achieved and that's what Mia will recognise. She won't care that you're an Atwood, to her, you'll just be dad," he swallowed. She recognised the expression in his eyes and she reached out and took one hand.

"You'll do it, like everything else, you will do it" she promised him.

---

**Chapter Twenty-Six:**

She sat with him as he ate lunch. Then his cell phone began to shrill and she watched him answer it. A prickle of foreboding shivered up and down her spine as she watched the expression on his face begin to change.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," he informed his called and then broke the connection. Immediately he made another call and stood up as it rang. Kate followed suit, tidying up the ignored remnants of his lunch. She straightened when she realised who he was talking to.

"Mia? It's Ryan. Kirsten called me and told me what's happening. She's on her way to you now. When she buzzes the intercom, just let her in, okay? I won't be long," He listened for a while and Kate watched him clench his jaw.

"I know you're scared, I am too. I won't be long," he broke the connection and turned to look at Kate. His eyes were dark with pain and she was almost afraid to ask.

"Mia tried to call me at the office, she says Marissa's drowsy, hard to wake up. Kirsten is on her way over, she's called an ambulance" he looked around as if trying to gather scattered thoughts.

"You go. I'll follow," Kate urged. Ryan just looked at her before turning and running out of the Bait Shop.

Kate followed Ryan back to his house. Her mind was in turmoil. When she'd left, Marissa had been up and about, she and Mia had walked on the beach and Marissa had seemed calmer, almost at peace with herself. Could things turn around that quickly? Fear tremored through her system.

---

The security gates were open. There was an ambulance outside of the house and the front door was open. As Kate got out of the car, paramedics came into view, manoeuvring a stretcher. Kate stood motionless as she watched it being moved to the back of the ambulance. Marissa lay still, her eyes closed, an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. Kirsten emerged behind it, holding Mia's hand tightly. Kate watched Ryan run to the stretcher and then to the little girl. It was then that she forced herself to move. Mia would be petrified. Mia then caught sight of her and released her hold on Kirsten's hand and ran towards her. Instinctively Kate reached out and caught her, hugging her to her. Ryan stood beside Kirsten and watched the little scene unfold. Then she turned towards the ambulance. Kate watched him hurry towards it and get in the back. She turned her head as Kirsten approached.

"What's happening? What's wrong with Marissa?" Kate looked down at the little girl. Kirsten then seemed to understand.

"We'll talk more later," she continued.

Kate made sure that Mia was securely fastened in the car. They looked at each other.

"How are you feeling honey?" she asked. Mia's eyes were wide, fearful.

"I'm scared. Mom told me she was sick and I got frightened when I couldn't wake her properly. So I called Ryan at work. Mom said that he's my dad, my real dad," Kate looked at her, her breath caught in her throat.

"How do you feel about that?" she asked her. Mia shrugged.

"It's okay" Kate touched her hand.

"You know you did the right thing calling the office" she got into the car. She knew that Kirsten was waiting for them in her own car so she started the engine.

---

The trio found Ryan standing in the hospital waiting area. Normally so calm and internalised, he was pacing, chewing on a thumbnail. He had washed some of the plaster away and Kate remembered that she had his shirt in her car. He spun around when he heard Kirsten call his name. He walked towards Mia and lifted her up into his arms and just hugged her. Kate watched the little girl slide her arms around his neck and hold him tightly.

"Any news?" Kirsten asked. Ryan looked at her.

"She's being worked on, that's all they'll tell me," He replied. He glanced back at Kate then back at Kirsten.

"Sandy is on his way, he's getting in touch with Julie and Jimmy, they should be here soon," Kirsten told him. He just nodded and carried Mia to a chair. He lowered her down onto it and sat in the vacant one beside her. The little girl reached out and slipped her hand into his. He held onto it.

---

Ryan stood by the window in the waiting room, his arms folded and he stared sightlessly out at nothing in particular. This was it. The final journey, the end, whatever the hell anyone else wanted to call it. Marissa's doctor had taken him to one side and gently explained that an infection had overwhelmed her already vulnerable immune system and she was just too weak to fight it. It was only a matter of time. Now it was just a waiting game and nobody was leaving. Everyone knew about the cancer now, and they sat around in various stages of shock and disbelief. It looked as though Marissa hadn't told a single soul about her illness. And on top of all of that, Mia knew. She knew that her mother had a terminal illness and that he was her father and she was the calmest amongst them all.

At this moment her parents were with her, Kaitlin was on her way home from college and his daughter sat with Kate. He swallowed. He wasn't ready for this; he wasn't ready to assume the responsibility of parenthood. It was too soon. When Marissa had told him, he'd assumed he'd have time to get used to the idea but it was as though she'd been holding on until he knew, until he'd promised her that he would take care of his daughter until the time came.

"Ryan?" Kate's voice was quiet but it still startled him. He looked at her, she scanned his face.

"Want to take a walk? It might help to clear your head a little," she suggested. For a second he wavered and then he nodded.

Once outside Ryan inhaled a lungful of air and closed his eyes to the sun shining down. Kate stood by and watched him, watched him stretch tired muscles; saw how sun-blond streaks intertwined with the darker honey gold of his hair.

"You need to sleep," she told him. He looked at her.

"I can't," he admitted, which she already knew. He was wound up tighter than a pocket watch. She moved closer to him, slipping an arm around his waist. He looked at her. She pressed a single kiss on his cheek and for a moment he leaned into her.

"Ryan!" at his name, he spun around and saw Jimmy standing a few feet away, holding Mia by the hand.

"Marissa is asking to see you,"

---

She opened her eyes when she heard the door open and smiled wanly when she saw him come inside. His expression was apprehensive and she didn't blame him. He walked to her bedside and took her hand, sitting down on the chair beside her.

"Mia knows about you," she told him, her voice barely above a whisper. He allowed a brief smile to flash across his face.

"I know." He replied. Marissa watched his face. He looked at her; she looked tired, worn out, as if she'd finally allowed the ravages of her illness to come forward. Then he remembered her the first time that he'd seen her, outside of the Cooper home, waiting to be picked up by her boyfriend. She'd looked so beautiful, vital, and fresh and he swallowed hard.

"You will be a great dad you know. I know you're scared,"

"I thought we'd have a bit more time y'know," his voice wobbled, he swallowed again. He wasn't going to cry, he hadn't cried since he was six years old and gotten the beating of his young life from his enraged, drunken father.

"I'm sorry, so sorry Ryan, I'd hoped so too," she whispered back.

"Just love her like I do, she's a great kid, and you'll be fine," his eyes filled up then, a single drop slipped down his cheek and he wiped at it with his other hand.

"I don't want you to go," he whispered back, gripping onto her hand. She looked at him and he saw tears slide down her pale cheeks.

"Do you think I want to? But I know our daughter will be in the best possible hands with you, and with Kate. You should marry her y'know," Ryan straightened in his seat and frowned. A smile misted across Marissa's face.

"You should. I know you love her. What's stopping you?" Ryan looked distinctively uncomfortable now.

"I remember high school Ryan, and how you used to look at her, some things have never changed"


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Twenty-Seven:**

Time merged. People came and went. Kate sat in the waiting room and thought about what was going on. Ryan had emerged from Marissa's room, looking pale, almost shell-shocked. Sandy pushed a cup of coffee into their hands; they'd drank it automatically. Seth and Summer had come out of her room not long ago. Seth had been white and wide-eyed with a mixture of shock and grief, Summer almost inconsolable and her heart had ached at the sight.

The door opened and automatically Kate looked up. She watched as Ryan emerged first. His face was white, eyes glassy. Kate stood up. Behind him were Jimmy and Julie. Julie was sobbing and Ryan didn't have to say anything, his expression said it all for him. Then finally Mia emerged, pale too. The little girl slipped her hand into Ryan's and held on tightly. Kate walked towards them.

Kate lightly gripped Ryan's upper arm and gently propelled him to the car. She helped Mia inside and like before, made sure she was securely fastened in before getting behind the wheel. She looked at Ryan. He was staring out of the passenger window. She started the engine and they drove home in silence.

Back in the silence of the house, she made them something to eat and watched them while they did. Ryan was going through the motions, one look into his eyes told her that was all it was, she doubted he even tasted what he was eating.

She helped Mia change for bed after a warm bath. She read to her, sitting beside her on the bed and then afterwards just sat with her.

"Can I ask you something Kate?"

"Sure" Kate replied.

"What's going to happen to me now?" Kate just looked at her.

"Nothing's going to happen sweetheart, you're going to stay here" she replied.

"Does Ryan want me? He looks so sad," Kate knelt down beside her bed, she gently stroked her cheek.

"He is sad Mia, he's missing your mom and remembering the happy times he had with her, it doesn't mean that he doesn't want you, he loves you very much," she kept her voice low, reassuring.

"I'm glad he's my dad" Mia confided. Kate looked at her, and then she smiled softly.

"You should tell him that sometime, I think he'd really like to hear it,"

Ryan came into the bedroom, a single blue towel around his waist. He saw Kate sitting on the bottom of the bed, staring out of the huge window, pretty much as he did. She lifted her head as he sat down beside her.

"Feel any better?" she enquired and he just nodded.

"You need to sleep," she told him and he noticed the t-shirt and pyjama bottoms that she'd lain out on his pillow.

"Are you coming too?" she looked at him, seeing the water drops pearlising on his skin, noticing the intensity of the colour of his eyes.

"Soon," she promised him.

She made herself some tea, the mundane routine of preparing it soothing her soul, helping her to process her thoughts. She began to pour boiling water into the cup and then stopped. She dropped the tea kettle back down and stared at the kitchen counter. She took a couple of deep breaths and closed her eyes. The backs of her eyes burned and she braced her hands either side of her, trying to fight back the insurgent emotions inside of her. She sighed and then gasped.

"Hey," Ryan's voice was quiet, strong as he grasped her shoulders and turned her around. She looked at him with tear filled eyes.

"Everything will be okay," he murmured and drew her against him. She clung to him, burying her face into his shoulder and she cried.

**Chapter Twenty-Eight:**

He was awake early the next morning. He left Kate to sleep.

He couldn't stomach any coffee this early in the day so he poured himself some juice instead. He remembered Mia asking for coffee the week before and he told her that she had to have milk instead. He smiled to himself. Maybe he should've recognised himself in her then. He turned his head and saw her standing in the doorway. She just stared at him with wide blue eyes.

"What are you doing up so early?" he asked.

"I couldn't get back to sleep, you're not going to send me back to bed are you?" he shook his head.

"No point if you can't sleep," he watched her walk towards him, going to sit at the table.

"Want some juice, some milk?" he asked and she shook her head. He sat down beside her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her in a quiet voice. He saw the pain etched there and he decided then that he would give anything to be the one to erase that from one so young.

"Sad. Scared," she admitted and he frowned.

"Why scared?" her eyes welled up and tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Because my mom isn't here anymore and I'm scared you won't want me," Emotion rose within him, threatening to choke him. He remembered being this scared too as a kid though it had nothing to do with bereavement. He had been scared of being abandoned, his family hadn't amounted to anything worthwhile when he was Mia's age but they were all that he had. He lifted Mia off her seat and on to his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her to him.

"Mia, that will never happen, understand? I will never leave you, or not want you ever, I swear," he told her, his voice husky. He swallowed, resting his chin on the top of her head.

-----

The house was full of people, everyone had gravitated towards him, Sandy and Kirsten, Seth and Summer and even Jimmy and Julie. And Kate was the dutiful hostess, making sure there was plenty of coffee available, alcohol too if it was needed. Kate was touched that they had thought of Ryan as well as Mia during this time. She slipped into the kitchen to put on more coffee. Instead she found Mia at the table. She looked so self-contained, dressed in a pair of jeans and a pink t-shirt that they'd bought on their shopping spree the week before. She had refused to wear black, her mother didn't want her to so why should she, she had calmly argued and Kate couldn't reply to that. She wanted Mia to feel like her opinion mattered and so she'd chosen her jeans and t-shirt.

"Hey Mia," the little girl looked up.

"You hiding?" she just nodded. Kate looked towards the kitchen door.

"Want to walk on the beach?" she suggested.

"Would we be allowed?" Mia whispered.

"I think so, you want to?" she watched Mia nod. She went over to her and took her hand.

"Let's go," she whispered back.

-----

Ryan listened to the conversation flowing around him. He wondered where Kate had gone to, or where Mia was. He went to the window and saw them heading down to the beach hand in hand. He sighed almost enviously. What he wouldn't give right now to join them.

"Don't you think Ryan?" he turned his head at Julie's voice.

"Do I think what?"

"That Mia should come back with her grandfather and myself tonight? Arrangements need to be made," she regarded him expectantly. Ryan turned around and looked at everyone.

"Actually… I have an…announcement…to make. Marissa and I had been planning on doing it together, when she was ready but…" he took a deep breath. He fixed his gaze upon Julie.

"Mia won't be going anywhere. She's staying here with me. She's my daughter" he watched his bombshell explode in the middle of the now silent room, watched their expressions change as they grappled with the information.

"What?" Julie exclaimed a short few seconds later.

"She's mine. Biologically. Marissa told me last week"

"And you believe her?" Julie exclaimed, her cheeks then flushing when all eyes turned her way.

"I have no reason not to" Ryan replied calmly. Jimmy was regarding him. Ryan looked at him and understanding dawned.

"You knew, didn't you?" Jimmy stood up, shrugging.

"Never for sure but I had my suspicions, but there were signs there,stuff thatcould've also been equally explained away because Marissa's colouring was so similar to yours," Ryan faced him.

"You're not going to hit me are you?" Jimmy frowned.

"Why would I want to do that?" the younger man shrugged.

"I didn't know til last week, if I had…."

"Ryan, I know you're the responsible type, if you had known you would've said so" Jimmy then interrupted. He then turned to look at his wife, who looked furious to say the least. A perverse part of Ryan wanted to laugh. He remembered back when he was sixteen, seventeen, in between his time with Lindsay and his thoughts about Kate, and he had been dating Marissa that Julie had often tried to make him wait on the doorstep for Marissa when they were going out, tried to put countless obstacles in his way in his pursuit of her daughter and now here was the incontrovertible proof that she had ultimately failed. Mia's paternity.

He stood in the kitchen with a bottle of beer in his hand. Kirsten and Sandy had left with Summer and Seth, all with promises of help should he need it. Kirsten had hugged him and told him that Mia couldn't have chosen a better father if she tried and that had warmed him a little. Jimmy was sitting on the balcony and Julie was in Marissa's room, choosing an outfit for her funeral.

"Ryan?" he turned around and saw Julie standing at the kitchen entrance, several hangers over an arm. She walked towards him, placing them on the kitchen table.

"I thought we might have a talk," she suggested. Automatically Ryan's senses went on guard.

"Okay," he responded carefully. He turned his head as the kitchen doors opened and Jimmy came back in.

"Mia is busy building a huge sandcastle with Kate," he commented. Ryan nodded; glad his daughter was occupied because a sixth sense was telling him that what was coming wasn't going to be pleasant.

"So, what's this about?" he asked Julie. Jimmy looked enquiringly at her as he went to stand beside her.

"It's about Mia," she replied and Ryan frowned.

"What about her?" He watched them exchange a look.

"We want custody of her," Julie told him and for a second Ryan just gaped at her, ignoring the equal look of surprise from her husband.

"You know that's not going to happen," he responded eventually.

"How will you be able to look after a seven year old child by yourself? With us she'll have everything she could possibly want!" Julie countered. Ryan looked at her.

"I'll learn, like every parent. And I have money, I can provide her with what she needs,"

"You're a single guy, with single guy needs, won't that interfere?"

"With what?" he retaliated in exasperation, "apart from work, I don't have much of a social life. I have Kate, I have a support network," he explained.

"And what happens when Kate gets tired of playing mommy to another woman's child? Do you really think that she'll stick around long enough? Marissa wasn't in her right mind when she asked you to raise her," Ryan took a deep breath, seeing a red mist begin to descend. He clenched his fists.

"Nobody knows what the future will hold Julie. Maybe Kate and I will get married and then Mia will have the two parent unit you obviously think she needs," Ryan answered. He glanced at Jimmy.

"I've had enough of this conversation" he turned and began to walk out of the kitchen.

"You really believe that Mia is your child?" Julie shouted out and Ryan was halted in his tracks. Slowly he turned around.

"Why would Marissa lie to me? Why would she keep something like this a secret from me for seven years and then tell me about her, for you to think that she's lying?" his voice became quiet but there was no mistaking the fury beneath it. Julie bristled.

"Because of your white-knight alter-ego? She knew that you would do anything to help her, and who's to say she didn't play on that?" Ryan didn't respond for a second.

"If you want me to take a paternity test, tell me where and when and I'll be there. That's if you really want to put your granddaughter through any more turmoil. And for your information…" he walked towards her until he stood less than a foot away from her.

"It was Kate who recognised Mia as my daughter. Marissa confessed to her. Hardly the work of someone planning on using me don't you think? You would think so low of your daughter? Even before you've buried her?" his voice rose and his control began to slip.

"That's enough Ryan," Jimmy interrupted and Ryan looked at him. A frigid silence stretched between them before he returned his attention to Julie.

"Like I said, just name the time and the place if you want to put Mia through any more distress. Right now I'm going to go down to the beach and spend some time with my daughter, I want you to leave" and he walked out of the kitchen.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Twenty-Nine:**

Today was a day he never thought he would see. He sighed and stared up at the cloudy sky. It was uncomfortably humid; he could feel his shirt sticking to his back. He resisted the overpowering urge to tug at his tie. Instead he shoved his hands into the pockets of his black trousers and waited. He turned his head as the front door opened and he saw Kate and Mia emerge. Mia regarded him uneasily, all the while holding onto Kate's hand. Ryan looked at her, she looked so small, so scared. He reached out and took her other hand. Kate had helped her dress in a plain white shirt and black skirt. She'd brushed her hair til it shone and braided it down her back. She looked so much like her mother at that moment that Ryan found it hard to breathe. She'd inherited Marissa's inherent fragility and no doubt would grow to be as tall and as beautiful as her mother too.

"You ready?" he enquired gently. She looked up at him and nodded.

Ryan hadn't wanted to travel in any of the funeral limos, preferring instead to drive himself. But he'd allowed Mia to accompany her grandparents. He followed the cortege from the Cooper residence, keeping a respectful distance but all the while never keeping his daughter far from view. Kate didn't leave his side, looking elegant in a plain black shift dress, her blonde hair pinned up, a pair of dark sunglasses keeping her eyes from view. He looked at her and felt reassured by her presence.

Ryan watched Mia from the graveside. She seemed to be holding up well to what was going on around her and he wished with all of his heart that he could save her from it. He'd thought about them staying at home today until common sense had reminded him that she needed this time to say goodbye. And Julie's probable reaction to her not attending was enough to make him almost break out in a cold sweat. The words of the priest washed over him and he came back to the present when he felt Kate's hand slip into his and squeeze it reassuringly. He stole a quick glance at her and a quicker smile. He turned his head to try and concentrate on the service and instead heard the whirring of a camera shutter. He looked up and saw the press congregated outside of the cemetery. Anger welled up inside of him because he knew that it wasn't Marissa's funeral they'd come to cover.

-----

The service ended and the mourners dispersed, back to their limos and similarly expensive cars. Ryan went to Mia and scooped her up into his arms, holding onto Kate at the same time.

"I'm sorry about the press photographers," she whispered to him. He looked at her and frowned.

"It's not your fault that they're here," he assured her, but she felt otherwise.

They clustered around the trio as they emerged from the cemetery. Mia clung to her father, burying her face into his shoulder as the media clamoured around them, throwing questions at them. Ryan kept a tight grip on Kate's hand as they headed towards his car.

-----

The Wake was held at the Cooper residence. The palatial Cooper-Nichol residence to give it its full name. Everyone who was anybody was there, to eat, drink and gossip besides pay his or her respects. Ryan had spent a lot of his post-Chino years at soirees similar to this one and knew what they were really about. He looked at Kate as he unfastened the top button of his shirt and loosened his tie a little.

"Want to get out of this heat?" he suggested to her. She nodded gratefully. The clouds haddisappeared into pure blueskies.He took her hand as they went in search of cooler climes. Mia was with her grandfather. Whatever Ryan thought of Julie, he liked Jimmy, liked the fact that he loved his grandchild unconditionally and it was good enough for him. Marissa had always been a daddy's girl and it looked as though, with Jimmy, Mia was following suit.

They sat poolside, at a table with a huge parasol protecting them from the vicious heat. Kate sank into the chair gratefully and looked across at Ryan.

"I'll get us something cold to drink" he told her. She just nodded and watched him do just that.

-----

"Kate" she looked up at hearing her name and saw Julie standing there, watched her slip into the chair that Ryan had just vacated. Kate looked at her and had to marvel. If the woman had had plastic surgery in the past then she had an extremely good surgeon, there were no signs of ageing, no outward signs that she was old enough to have a seven-year-old grand daughter. Her skin was unlined, expertly made up but it was those almond shaped eyes that put her on her guard. She knew Julie's reputation of old.

"Mrs Cooper," she greeted mildly and secretly hoped that Ryan wouldn't be too long with those drinks.

"Please. We're all adults here, it's Julie and thank you so much for coming today," Kate nodded.

"Marissa and I were friends," she replied. Julie regarded her.

"It must've been a surprise to you to find out that Ryan and she had a child," Kate shrugged.

"Of course we didn't know…we were quite shocked," Kate looked at her.

"I can imagine but she didn't tell anyone," Julie looked at her and the expression on her face made Kate feel a tad uncomfortable, like being held in the thrall of a snake right before it was about to strike.

"Do you really believe he's Mia's father? Ryan told us that it was you who guessed," Kate began to frown.

"Have you looked at Mia? I mean, really looked at her? The resemblance is there, it's unquestionable," Julie sat back a little. Kate tipped her head to one side.

"Ryan told me about you and your husband wanting custody. He'll be a good father, you just need to give him the opportunity to prove it"

"What does he know about being a father?" Julie hissed irritably. Then she made an effort to pull herself together.

"I just know Mia would be happier with us, we'll be able to give her everything she could ever wish for and more. Ryan needs to see that," she muttered, sounding very much like a recalcitrant child.

"Who Mia needs right now is her father. With respect Julie, if Marissa wanted Mia to stay with you then she would've specified it" Julie glared at her.

" I hope that you like the idea of bringing up another woman's child Kate. Pretty soon you'll get that marriage proposal I know you've been wanting and you'll always wonder what the reason was for it. Does he love you heart and soul or is he looking for another mother for his child, and hopes that a wedding ring will seal the deal?" Kate watched her stand up and walk away. Fury boiled within her but she knew that now wasn't the time or place to make a scene.

-----

"Hey Ryan," he swung around, two tall glasses of iced water in his hands and smiled when he saw Seth. Like him, the tie was loose, the top shirt button unfastened.

"Hey," he greeted.

"How's fatherhood?"

"Scary as hell but I'll get there," Seth smiled.

"With Kate by your side, I can imagine that you will. You two seem pretty tight," Ryan smiled again.

"We are," he confirmed.

"You're thinking maybe that she's The One?" Ryan shrugged and glanced across to see Julie Cooper sitting opposite her and it looked as though there was a very intense conversation going on. Alarm bells sounded in his head. He looked back at Seth.

"Maybe. I'll let you know. Listen, I have to go, I'll catch up with you soon, okay?" Seth nodded and watched his foster brother stride away.

He walked back to where Kate was sitting. Her head was lowered and she looked to be deep in thought.

"Here you are. Sorry about the wait, a lot of thirsty people about," he placed the sweating glass down in front of her. She looked up at him and smiled her thanks before picking it up and taking a sip. He just watched her, sitting down opposite her.

"You okay?" she looked at him.

"I'm fine Ryan," she replied. He shrugged one shoulder.

"I saw Julie talking to you before. Looked intense" she glanced at him again.

"Just making small talk, that kind of thing, nothing intense about it,"

"I didn't think that you two had much in common," she looked sharply at him.

"You'd be surprised at what two women can talk about" she informed him.

**Chapter Thirty:**

He drew her up against him and pressed a kiss on her forehead. She could feel all of him, his heat, his skin, smell him. He made her feel alive. The only light in the room came from the moon and she watched as he looked at her, the moonlight washing his skin silver pale.

"Can I talk to you about something?" his voice was rough sounding in the silence.

"Sure," she moved away from him and he sat up and saw the way she tucked the sheet under her arms.

"I've never done this before, so I'm going to go straight out and ask okay?" he turned his head and looked at her. Her heart began to pound a slow, heavy beat.

"Do you want to get married?" her stomach did a weird kamikaze type plunge and her heart fluttered at his casually spoken words. He was watching her, waiting for her reaction.

"To each other?" she cursed her stupidity as soon as the words left her mouth.

"Were you thinking of marrying someone else? Yeah to each other," he replied. Kate sighed shakily, also sitting up now.

"Sorry, not one of my more memorable moments," she apologised.

"It's okay," he replied with a shrug. She looked at him.

"Then I need to ask you something too," the moonlight was bright enough that she could see the uneasiness on his face. She swallowed and briefly looked at her hands. Then she looked at him again.

"If all this stuff with Mia and Marissa hadn't happened, would you still be asking me?" silence followed her question.

"You think I'm asking you to marry me because of what's happened? Because of Mia?" his voice rose slightly in amazement and she attempted a nonchalant shrug.

"It occurred to me," she replied quietly. Ryan sighed and shook his head.

"Forget it," he muttered and he lay back down, facing away from her, telegraphing loud and clear to her that the conversation was over.

Sandy opened the door and smiled when he saw Ryan standing there with Mia.

"Did you lose your keys the last time you were here?" he teased as he opened the door wider. Ryan shrugged, ducking his head a little in embarrassment.

"We were in the neighbourhood" he lifted a paper bag "brought a food offering," he handed the package to him and watched as he opened it, peeped in and then smiled at him again.

"Come on in, both of you," and watched them both do just that.

Everyone was congregated in the kitchen. They said their hellos. Coffee was poured and one by one each member of the Cohen family dispersed. Ryan watched Mia disappear hand in hand with Summer who had promised her full access to her make up case. He sighed and turned his head when he felt Sandy's hand on his shoulder. His blue eyes were sympathetic, understanding.

"How are you doing?" Ryan couldn't speak for a moment and just shrugged instead.

"Why don't we sit down and you can tell me about it?" he invited and still with his hand on his shoulder, led him to the table. Ryan sat heavily, watching Sandy sit beside him.

"I noticed Kate isn't here," he watched Ryan take a sip of his coffee and stare into it.

"Problems?" Ryan looked at him this time. The man beside him was the closest he had ever had to a father, an involved, caring father.

"I asked Kate to marry me last night," he admitted in a low voice.

"And she turned you down?" Ryan frowned.

"Not exactly. She didn't exactly say yes either. Just asked me a weird question," he returned his attention back to his coffee cup.

"What kind of question?" Ryan shrugged.

"She questioned my motive for asking her,"

"Ah." Startled, Ryan looked at him. Sandy saw his look of confusion and smiled wryly.

"Women can be difficult to read at the best of times, when you think you know them for sure, they throw you an emotional curveball leaving you wondering whether you ever really knew them in the first place,"

"Your timing Ryan, Marissa's funeral was just yesterday, she wondering if there's a connection," he watched him as he joined the dots and then closed his eyes.

"How could I have been so stupid," he groaned.

"It happens to the best of us kid. And when she asked you why, you were so full of hurt pride that all of that kind of got forgotten, am I right?" Slowly Ryan nodded.

"Mia has a mother…had…a mother, that's not the reason I asked her" he sighed loudly.

"Then you need to talk to Kate, tell her that,"

"I'm not good with words, you know that," Sandy regarded him, all teasing humour gone from his eyes.

"Then now is the time to get over that. If you love her, then you'll know what to say"

-----

The house was silent. He turned his head and watched Mia follow him inside. She'd had a good time hanging out with Summer, it was a connection to her mother and Ryan was glad that they'd had that time together. He made a mental note to make sure that she saw her more often. Right now Mia's finger and toenails were painted a vibrant shade of Summer-red. He should've said something, that she was too young for that shade but there was a sparkle in his daughter's eyes that hadn't been there before so he'd decided to let it slide.

"Want to take a walk on the beach with me?" she lifted blue eyes to his and shook her head.

"I don't know where Kate is. What do you want to do?" he watched her shrug and he withheld a smile. He had to expect this, this apathy.

"Why don't we find something to do?" and he scooped her up into his arms. He felt her arms slip around his neck as they walked out onto the balcony.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Thirty-One:**

Work was progressing quickly on The Bait Shop. She'd have to think about hiring staff for the grand opening soon. Instead of feeling excited, she felt lethargic, distinctly unenthusiastic. It hadn't been like Ryan to leave her sleeping and she wondered where he and Mia had gone. They still hadn't returned by the time she'd showered, ate a singular breakfast and headed here to see how much progress was being made. The team of constructors that Ryan had hired were confident it would be completed to her requirements soon.

-----

His car was parked in front of his house as she pulled up beside it. For a second she just sat and looked at it. She and Ryan would have to talk about this all soon. He'd proposed to her and that had sent her into a mild state of panic. She didn't question how much she loved him, because she did with every part of her but why make it legal? She thought that they were perfectly happy as they were. Then her conversation with Julie had happened, and when Ryan had asked her to marry him she had wondered why because he hadn't given any inclination of wanting to be married. She sighed and got out of the SUV and went into the house.

Ryan was in the kitchen, an ignored cup of coffee in front of him. For a little while Kate stood in the doorway and looked at him. Her heart ached for him. Why couldn't she just walk to him and into his arms like she really wanted to? He turned his head and looked at her and she froze. Then she took a deep breath and went into the kitchen. She poured herself some coffee and for a moment they just looked at each other.

"We have to talk about last night," he reminded her and she sighed quietly.

"Do we?" she watched him stand up. He walked towards her.

"You know we do," She looked into his blue eyes.

"I've been thinking about what you said. I know Julie said something to you at the Wake. You changed right after that," she glanced away at the mention of Julie Cooper.

"And talking to Sandy this morning…" she glared at him.

"You talked to Sandy about this?" her voice rose and he frowned.

"Yeah, I talked to Sandy. Why wouldn't I?" he demanded. Kate folded her arms.

"It's private, between you and me," Ryan shook his head and took a step backwards.

"Oh no you don't. Don't pull that diva thing on me," she looked at him again.

"What 'diva thing'?" she demanded to know.

"What you're doing right now…acting offended because I talked to Sandy about our problems. Just because you weren't close to your parents, don't assume that I have the same attitude with Sandy because it won't work. I know what you're doing" Kate straightened up, her hands now on her hips, stinging at the remark he'd made about her parents.

"Okay Ryan, tell me what I'm doing" her voice was low, furious.

"Julie said something to you at the Wake. I talked to Sandy and I think I know what she said to you and you had that in your head when I proposed to you. Well you were wrong and now you're backing off and you want to run!" he accused her and she opened her mouth to argue but nothing came out. He went to her, grasping her shoulders.

"She's wrong Katie and you believed her," Kate shrugged in response. A silence fell between them. She lifted her head when she heard him sigh and he let go of her.

"She just lost her daughter, she's also found out that I'm the father of her grand daughter. She wanted custody and I refused to give it to her. You know this, and yet you still believed her," He looked at her. She felt a lump rise in her throat, tears shine in her eyes. He seemed to be struggling internally with something.

"I'm not great with words Kate, but you're all that I want. I've been in love with you since High School, that senior year," she stared at him with wide eyes.

"Why didn't you say something?" it was his turn to shrug.

"You were leaving to achieve your dream, how could I stop you doing that? How many people in this life get to do that?"

"You could've come with me,"

"And do what? In the end it all worked out for the best, you made it in your world and I made it in mine," She stared at his face. He looked defeated, tired. The urge to go to him was strong, almost overwhelming but she held back.

**Chapter Thirty-Two:**

He thought that he would be scared at the prospect of raising Mia alone. As the days eased into each other, he realised that Marissa had been right, Kate had been right. He could do this. He remembered Sandy saying to him once that he didn't have to be the parent any more with regards to those around him that he cared the most about and it had been a relief to him but with Mia, it all came rushing back and in a good way. They got to know each other better, discovered things in common, that she loved her cereal dry, that she possessed a very sharp brain and an equally strong will.

He watched Kate with her. She was a natural with her, had patience and they got along famously. But he was scared to death that he was losing her. She was remote, even polite to him and that was as good as a slap in the face to him. He watched the smile she bestowed upon Mia and his gut clenched as he longed for the same.

-----

He took Mia to see her grandparents as he promised that he would, once things had simmered down from before the Wake. He stood in the lobby of the huge house and watched Mia follow her grandfather into the kitchen with promises of treats and gifts. Julie stood beside him, watching them go.

"She reminds me so much of Marissa at the same age," she sighed and Ryan didn't respond immediately, just looked at her.

"I need to talk to you," he said in a low voice. Julie frowned, sensing the underlying anger.

"Of course. What about?" she watched him push his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and momentarily rock back on his heels.

"Not here. Outside," he suddenly decided that he didn't want to be holed up.

"All right…this way" Julie answered.

-----

He stood beside the pool and stared into the crystal blue water. Julie kept her distance but was curious all the same.

"What do you want to talk about that we couldn't say inside?" she demanded. Ryan swung around.

"I don't want Mia to hear what I have to say to you, after all, you're still her grandmother," His tone was even but Julie wasn't stupid enough to take it at face value.

"What is this about?"

"Kate. And what you said to her at Marissa's Wake," he replied. Julie folded her arms and arched one eyebrow.

"What's the matter honey, did she turn you down?" Ryan took a second to tamp down the fury that threatened to rise at her taunting. He wasn't going to lose his temper and give her the ammunition she wanted.

"No she didn't, she needs time to think things through," he responded. A faint smile crossed Julie's lips.

"Then she has doubts. Because she would've accepted you immediately if she didn't,"

"Doubts you helped to put there yourself!" he retaliated. He strode towards her.

"Thanks to you, she now thinks that I have an ulterior motive for wanting to marry her. No matter what I say to her, she has that in her head and she's doubting me now,"

"That's not my problem Ryan. I guess I hit a nerve with her,"

"I want you to stay the hell out of it, do you hear me? This has nothing to do with you!"

"Where Mia is concerned, it has everything to do with me," Julie responded calmly.

"Not this time. And if you go any further with your insinuations, I can take it to court and you'd be lucky you'd get supervised visitation rights with Mia," he kept his voice low and watched her eyes widen.

"You wouldn't dare!" she hissed. Ryan took another half step closer until their faces were barely inches apart.

"You push me hard enough, you'll be surprised," he whispered.

"To you I'll always be that kid from Chino, but I am Mia's father and I won't give her up no matter what you do or how hard you try" Julie stared at him with still wide eyes. The anger then seemed to evaporate out of him and he took a step backwards.

"That's all I'm going to say on the matter," he told her, turned and walked away.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Thirty-Three:**

Ryan entered the office. He still carried some vestiges of the anger that was left over from talking to Julie. Maybe a few hours in front of his drawing board would help to clear his mind and the office was closer than home. He saw Kirsten and Kerry in the lobby and it made him stop in his tracks. He frowned at their expressions.

"What?" he demanded. The two women exchanged glances.

"We weren't expecting to see you today," Kirsten replied. He noticed that she held a sheaf of envelopes that she'd been in the process of sorting through.

"Mia is with her grandparents and I have to catch up on projects so I thought I'd come in for a while. Is that a problem?" His tone was unintentionally sharp and Kirsten looked at Kerry again and that annoyed him once more.

"What's wrong?" Kirsten sighed and picked up a square white envelope from the top of the pile she held.

"Kate was just here ten minutes ago. She left this," He took the envelope from her, ignoring the sick feeling welling in his stomach. He looked at the two women again.

"Hold all my calls today would you Kerry?" he requested and both women watched him disappear into his office and close the door firmly behind him. Once more Kirsten looked at Kerry.

"Anything that can't wait, divert to my office instead, okay?" the receptionist nodded.

Ryan dropped the envelope onto his desk and looked at it. He was scared to open it and see what she had written. He kind of already knew what it would say and he was all of a sudden furious that whatever it was, she hadn't had the guts to say it to his face. He sat down and looked at it. Then he picked it up. He looked at it and took a deep breath and then opened it. He took out the single sheet of cream coloured paper and unfolded it.

"_Ryan,_

_I need to think_. _And i can't do that at your place __so i'm moving out for a while._. _You and Mia also need to find your fit and i'm probably getting in the way of that too . Any matters regarding the Bait Shop can beforwarded via my attorneys. I hope to see you soon._

_I love you Ryan, _

_Kate" _

He screwed the single sheet of paper up in one hand and threw it across the room.

He lifted his head from the desk at the quiet tap on his door.

"I said no interruptions!" he yelled. There was a brief pause and the handle twisted. The door opened. Ryan sat up in his chair when he saw Kirsten's head peep around.

"Actually you said to hold all your calls," she reminded him quietly. She slipped into the office, closing the door behind her. He sighed irritably.

"Same thing." Kirsten saw the frown marring his brow; the lack of work and it confirmed her suspicions about the content of Kate's letter. She saw the screwed up piece of paper on the carpet and stooped down to pick it up. Slowly she walked to his desk and dropped it down in front of him.

"I take it wasn't good news," he looked up at her.

"She's gone," Kirsten saw the look of defeat on his face and her heart ached for him. She slipped into the chair opposite his desk and just regarded him.

"Will she be back?" he just shrugged.

"She's put everything into the hands of her attorneys. Why didn't she just talk to me directly?" he snapped. Kirsten shrugged.

"Maybe because talking to you right now hurts her too much? And it hurts because she loves you?" Ryan glanced at her and then looked away, a quick movement of the eyes she knew so well.

"Give her time Ryan. If it's meant to be then she'll be back,"

-----

**Chapter Thirty-Four:**

She had to admit that it was tougher than she imagined, being apart from him. Every time she saw a guy with blond hair, her heart stood still. Every time she went out she expected to bump into him, or see Mia. She thought about him every single second of every day, wondering where he was, what he was doing and whether he was missing her as badly as she was missing him. She was back at the hotel she'd stayed in when she'd first arrived back at Newport Beach, thinking about her future, whether she and Ryan still had one, and dithering about buying a house if they didn't. It was funny how life seemed to have come around in a full circle. More than once she thought about calling him at work but she was unsure of the reception that she'd get so she didn't.

A message arrived confirming a time and date to take a final look around The Bait Shop was waiting for her a while later. She'd been tempted to ask the receptionist whether the caller had been male or female. She'd reigned herself in though, more than likely the call would've come from Kerry. She wondered whether Ryan would be the one to accompany her but somehow she realised that he probably wouldn't. She hadn't heard a thing from him. But she still wondered, hung on to a last vestige of hope that he would be there.

But he wasn't. Kate had to swallow down the sharp disappointment that welled up when she saw Kirsten waiting for her on the pier. The older woman slowly turned and looked at her. For a second they just stood there, observing each other.

"You were expecting Ryan" Kirsten stated. Kate slowly walked towards her and shrugged, hoping her disappointmentdidn't show too plainly on her face.

"Not really" she replied. Kirsten just looked at her

"Shall we get on with the tour?"

"Lead the way," Kate responded.

She walked through the interior. Her project was completed, and on time. Everything was new, neat and shiny. Rejuvenated. The floors shone, waxed to a high quality sheen, all the wood was natural, stripped back, protected by a coat of heavy duty varnish that allowed the wood grain to shine through. The new, Tiffany inspired lead windows gleamed, the new upholstery and seating arranged just so. Everything was up and running towards the grand re-opening that she had planned. She had people in the process of interviewing and hiring staff. She stood and turned a slow, complete circle, absorbing it all.

"You like it?" Kate looked at Kirsten and she smiled.

"It's perfect. Ryan's team did a great job,"

"So now all you have to do is organise the grand re-opening. Anything planned?" Kate shrugged.

"One or two things" she replied with deliberate vagueness. Kirsten took the opportunity to look around.

"Are you still planning on running this place yourself?" Kate looked at her.

"Or am I planning on hiring a manager?" she finished and Kirsten just shrugged.

"I'm planning on running it myself, that was always the plan," she informed her.

"No plans to return to Los Angeles?" Kate folded her arms, frowning now.

"To do what? My life is over there. I've closed down my house; I plan to rent it out. I don't plan on recording again or touring or any of that anymore. It's over. My life is here now,"

"It'll be awkward, if you run into Ryan," Kate's heart clenched hard in her chest when she heard his name.

"Maybe it will. I'd like to think Newport Beach is big enough for the both of us,"

"You sound as though you and Ryan are done," Kate shrugged.

"I don't want it to be," she admitted in a small voice.

"Then tell him that. Whatever this is, I'm sure you can work through it" Kate turned away from her, blinking back sudden tears.

"I'm not sure it can be. Did Sandy tell you about his conversation with Ryan?"

"No he didn't" Kate turned again. Kirsten frowned when she saw the pain in her eyes.

"Ryan proposed to me, he asked me to marry him" Kirsten's eyes widened briefly.

"He did? He didn't tell me about that," she breathed.

"He asked the day after Marissa's Wake, and my head was all over the place from something Julie Cooper said and it didn't work out well…"

"What did Julie say?"

"I don't want to get into it, but Ryan got hurt by it and everything went horribly wrong and I left," she felt tears threaten again.

"But you love Ryan, right?" Kate sighed shakily.

"I've had relationships in the past, some that were hugely publicised, some that weren't. It would go so well and then they would start wanting a commitment and the moment that they did, I would get scared, I'd get claustrophobic and want to get out of there,"

"And you did the same because Ryan wanted a commitment?"

"I don't know… maybe. Ryan always seemed to be the type of person who didn't buy into the whole marriage and kids ideal, when we talked in high school; it definitely wasn't one of his goals in life. He told me a bit of his background and I understood why and I could relate too,"

"You're talking about Marshall Cole and your mother, right?" An unsettling chill shrouded her as Kate remembered those hellish months all too clearly.

"They had a marriage made in hell. He made her miserable, she made me miserable and they thought they would inflict that kind of hell onto me with ahusband of their choicewith or without my permission, soI ran and that'swhy I never came back here til now. I don't want a repeat of that," she admitted. Kirsten stared at her.

"And you think that would happen if you married Ryan?" she breathed. Kate looked at her.

"It's a position I'm not willing to put myself in to" fresh tears scalded her cheeks. She then took a deep breath and wiped at her face.

"Oh God, I didn't mean to talk so much. Just forget I said anything. I have to go…. If you forward all bills to my attorney, I'll see that they're paid," Kirsten opened her mouth to speak but Kate had spun around and all but ran out.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Thirty-Five:**

Ryan saw Kirsten stride past his open door. Her pace was determined and business like. He put down his pencil and slid off his stool and went to his doorway in time to see her disappear into her office. He knew that she'd had an appointment with Kate, for a final viewing. Maybe Kate had hated it? He swallowed. He'd done everything exactly to her specifications, how could she hate it? Even he had gotten a thrill from seeing it completed. No, it had to be something else. He straightened up as her door opened again and she saw him.

"Ryan, I need to talk to you," she went into his office, leaving him no option but to follow, closing his door behind him. He watched Kirsten stop and turn. Her expression was tense, worried and that made him frown.

"What happened?"

"I'm worried about Kate,"

"Worried? What about? Didn't she like it?" Kirsten stared at him in puzzlement.

"Like what? Oh, no…she loved it. No, we got talking about…other stuff. You mainly," Instantly Ryan tensed.

"And?"

"I know that you proposed to her, I know that somehow it ended badly. And I think I know why" Ryan folded his arms.

"Why?"

"Her parents Ryan. They made her life a misery before she left, scarred her so much that she's terrified to marry anyone, let alone you," Ryan just looked at her.

"I would never treat her badly"

"When you're that scared Ryan, you're not rational. I heard stories about the Cole's. This was after he died but my dad knew him, or at least knew of him, he wasn't a nice man," Ryan listened.

"He was controlling, cruel, he treated Kate's mother like a possession, and Kate too I suppose. He wanted her to marry some guy of his choosing, whether she wanted to or not. My God, it's barbaric,"

"Which would explain why she left when she did" he muttered. He took a deep breath. Kirsten frowned.

"Before she left, she told me that she had to leave Newport Beach before it killed her" he admitted. Kirsten's eyes widened.

"You knew where she went" Ryan just shrugged. Kirsten just stared at him.

"The cops were all over you, they were convinced you knew where she went and you lied," he sighed.

"She was eighteen and determined to leave. She was miserable here, there was nothing that they could do and in hindsight it was the right decision because she got lucky and hit the big time less than a year after she left," Kirsten slowly shook her head.

"I didn't think that you would blatantly lie like that,"

"I did it for her" he admitted.

-----

Ryan watched the rain patter down the windscreen. For a moment, it was the only sound inside of the car and it was hypnotic and calming at the same time. He turned his head. The door was closed; Mia would be inside, spending time with her grandparents and her aunt. Briefly he closed his eyes, leaning his head back on the seat. Despite all of the bad feeling that existed between him and Julie, she loved her grand daughter and he wasn't that much of an asshole to deny her access to Marissa's only child. He leaned forwards and turned the key, listening to the car purr to life.

He hadn't been home long when he heard the doorbell ring. He frowned. No one had called to say that they were planning to drop in, he expected his friends to do that, to call in advance. Had he forgotten to close the gates? Anyone who knew him knew he wasn't fond of surprises.

He opened the door and any words he was going to say died in his throat as he stared at Kate standing on the doorstep. Her car was parked behind her and her hair was only a little bit wet, raindrops dampening her skin. For a second they stared at each other, both wanting the other to speak first.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her eventually. It took her a second to reply, her eyes widening slightly. She swallowed.

"I…I came to see Mia," she replied, her eyes darting past him to see if she was around.

"She's not here. She's with Julie and Jimmy, overnight," he told her. Her eyes flew to his. Disappointment flashed across her face.

"I didn't know. I should've called…I'd better go…" she turned to leave. He reached out and grabbed her wrist. She spun around and looked at him.

"You don't have to…go I mean." He shrugged.

"I don't know…" his gentle grip tightened slightly.

"Coffee. Conversation…friends?" she took a deep breath. It was so tempting. She looked into his blue eyes, dark blue irresistible eyes and she swallowed again.

"Okay. Coffee. Conversation. Whatever" she agreed and he let go of her. He stood back as she came inside.

She felt awkward being here. She'd had nothing but silence since her letter. Her cowardly way out. It hadn't been fair to Ryan to do that but her head and her heart had been a whirl of questions, contradictions and confusion and she honestly felt that finding her own space would help. She just missed him all the more. She watched him walk ahead of her. Blue jeans and a white t-shirt, the sleeves tight over his upper arms. His feet were bare. She sucked in a deep breath and hoped she was doing the right thing.

**Chapter Thirty-Six:**

Ryan watched her shrug out of a slightly damp denim jacket and drape it along the back of one of the dining chairs. Her red t-shirt clung to her upper body and he swallowed at the memories, of what he remembered was underneath. He felt his body react in the same treacherous way. She looked at him. He looked back at her, like a rabbit caught mildly startled, in the headlights.

"Umm...Coffee...right…" he turned, seeing the brewed coffee in the machine. He couldn't remember if it was fresh or not. Right now he was finding it difficult to remember his own name.

-----

Kate watched him go through the motions of preparing coffee. He looked a little jittery, on edge. She wondered how he would react if she told him that right now she was feeling exactly the same way. How would he react if she told him that visiting Mia had just been a ruse, that in reality, she had wanted to see him, to see how he was. Because the missing him part had just been too much to bear and she needed to be in his company again, even if it was just for coffee, conversation, as friends. She folded her arms and walked towards the patio doors. She stood and looked out across the beach. It was hard to tell where the sky ended and the sea began, everything was just a dark, murky haze. Rain speckled the glass and she watched little streams race each other downwards.

"Coffee's ready," his voice was quiet in the silence but her heart still faltered upon hearing it. She turned around and looked at him. He stood a couple of feet away, two cups in his hands, one of which he handed to her. She accepted it gratefully, wrapping her hands around it. He watched her take a sip and that absent semi-smile of satisfaction almost turned him inside out. He should be resentful of the fact that she was here; that she'd just walked back in here and more to the point, he'd let her. But the truth of the matter was that he missed her so damned much. Kirsten had told him about Kate's parents, of their plans for her and everything became crystal clear to him then. A lot of questions had been answered and a new understanding evolved.

"Why didn't you tell me about your parents?" the question was out of his mouth before he could reign it in and her head shot up and she stared wide eyed at him.

"What?"

"You could've told me why you left Newport Beach," her grip tightened on her cup and she looked down.

" You already know why"

"You told me a sanitised version. You didn't tell me the truth," for a second she didn't respond. Then she shrugged her shoulders.

"And have you save me? Like you tried so many times to save Marissa Cooper? I wasn't prepared to let them manipulate me,"

"So you ran instead" she looked up at him then, her eyes fiery with anger.

"It was my life and as far as I'm aware, it still is" she handed him her cup and walked past him.

"Where are you going?" he turned and watched her shrug her jacket back on. She glanced at him.

"Out of here. This is a bad idea," she grabbed up her purse and spun out of the room.

"Wait a minute," he caught up with her in the lobby, grabbing her shoulders and turning her around.

"Let me go Ryan," she instructed him. He looked into her eyes and shook his head.

"You always do this. When you're faced with something you can't or don't want to cope with, you run" he told her. She tried to wrench free but instead his grip tightened.

"You can't keep doing it because eventually you're going to run out of places to run to" she stopped struggling and looked at him.

"What's the point Ryan? Its all ancient history, talking about it won't change anything,"

"Sharing it might help," she took a deep, shaky breath.

"I'm not a victim, I don't need help, I don't need saving,"

"But you don't trust anyone. You don't trust me" she stared at him.

"I do trust you Ryan, I thought you knew that," he let go of her.

"You don't. Otherwise when I proposed, you'd have accepted, you wouldn't have questioned," she frowned.

"How do you know that? Your timing was off," she retorted.

"I know that now. I've never even asked anyone to live with me, never mind marry me, so I made a mistake but it doesn't change the way I feel about you," Her eyes went wide at his admission.

"If Marissa hadn't died, if all of this with Mia hadn't happened, I still would have asked you to marry me" he assured her. She sighed and lowered her head. He caught her, wrapping his arms around her. She rested her head against his chest. She could hear the slow steady drum of his heartbeat.

"Your stepfather was a son of a bitch. He hurt you badly, they both did, but you have to realise that I'm not him. If anything, I was more afraid that I'd turn out like my old man, a worthless asshole who liked a drink and was easy with his fists. You were the one that pointed out to me that I wasn't," she lifted her head from his chest and looked at him.

"And you're not,"

"You always believed in me Kate, now let me be the one to believe in you,"

-----

The storm had gotten worse. Rain hammered against the windowpanes, the sky had darkened ominously. Kate watched Ryan light two fat magnolia coloured candles. Their soft light gave a haunting, ethereal glow to the room. She turned her head when she heard the rumble of thunder. Ryan did likewise.

"Not scared of thunder are you?" she looked at him as he walked towards her and she shook her head.

"I love thunderstorms," she told him. He took her into his arms.

"That's good, because this one looks like it's going to be huge," he told her. She looked up into his eyes, shadowed in the darkness of the room. She leaned towards him, flattening the palms of her hands against his chest. She kissed him.

-----

The candlelight guttered and sputtered as the storm raged outside. Usually Kate would be huddled by a window, an awestruck witness to Mother Nature's fury but right now She went ignored.

The storm died away towards midnight. They lay in the bed, limbs entwined, exhausted but sated. The candles had burned out, the wax hardening in yellowish pools. Neither of them noticed.

The room was filled with bright sunlight. Ryan woke slowly. He lifted and turned his head. He was alone. He shouldn't be surprised, it was her style of coping, confronted with something she couldn't handle she ran. Disappointment sharpened inside of him despite that. He'd really thought he'd made a breakthrough with her. She said that she trusted him but this disappearing act just proved to him that she hadn't.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Thirty-Seven:**

The silence was deafening. After what had happened between them, he'd really thought that she would come back to him. It was as close as to spilling his guts as he was going to get and so far, nothing. Nothing except engraved invitations to the grand re-opening of The Bait Shop the coming weekend. For the opening it was a ticket only event, by special invitation.

"If you stare at that any harder, I'm expecting to see it combust," Kirsten commented dryly and his head snapped up to look at her. She stood in the doorway, arms folded, smiling wryly. Then he sighed and dropped it down onto his desk.

"Are you going to go?" he glanced at her again and then shook his head.

"Why not?"

"What would be the point?" He sat back in his chair. Kirsten's eyes widened marginally.

"Because the reconstruction of The Bait Shop is a Ryan Atwood project, that's why. It would look weird if you didn't attend," he frowned.

"It's a Cohen-Atwood production. You don't need me there. No one will think it's weird if you're there and I'm not," Kirsten regarded him for a second.

"It is an Atwood project and the only reason that you won't attend is because Kate will be there. What are you going to do instead? Go back home and sit and brood? That's original!" She leaned forwards so that both her hands were resting flat on his desk.

"Please Ryan. This was always your project. You took it on and saw it through til the end, despite everything that happened between you and Kate" He didn't respond.

"She came to see me and we… talked. I thought I'd gotten through but I haven't heard a thing from her. She's probably decided that being with me isn't such a good idea after all and is thanking God she cut her losses when she did,"

"Oh honey. I know it's hurting you right now but she needs time" He looked up at her and he frowned.

"How much time does she need?" Kirsten regarded him.

"Until she's sure"

-----

It was standing room only out there. Kate took a deep breath to try and quell the butterflies in her stomach. She always suffered from some degree of stage fright, whether she played to small, intimate audiences or to huge crowds. Part of her nerves also had something to do with the fact that Ryan and Mia were out in the audience. Her stomach was churning. She didn't know how she was going to handle seeing him out there, because she _would _see him. She'd woken the morning after the storm, and saw him sleeping on his stomach and the thought that all she had to do was say yes to him and she would have everything she wanted. One simple word had the power to do that and the prospect had made the age-old panic well up inside of her and she had left. He'd want answers soon.

She walked onto the small stage to loud applause. Like old times, only a piano and her guitar shared the stage with her. She stood behind the microphone and looked out across the sea of faces.

Ryan stood on the balcony, transfixed. She stood on stage in tight jeans and a camisole type top in a rose pink shade. She looked beautiful, confident and almost serene. Longing rose like a tidal wave inside of him.

"You know if you want to talk to her that badly, you should," he turned his head and looked at Sandy.

"Why do you think that she'll even talk to me?" Sandy looked at him and rolled his eyes, as if the answer was self-explanatory.

"Because you are Ryan Atwood and she loves you," Nerves squirmed in Ryan's stomach. He glanced back at Kate, who was sitting in front of her piano. He glanced at Sandy, who was regarding him.

"You love her too, I can see it on your face, I can see it in the way you look at her"

"And I'm willing to bet you any money, she'll see you too," he confided. Ryan frowned at him and the older man grinned.

**Chapter Thirty-Eight:**

Ryan went downstairs and pushed his way politely through the crowds. He wanted to get as close to the front as possible. He wanted her to see him. Tonight he was going to try and convince her that she belonged with him and if she turned him down tonight, then that was it, he'd walk away for good.

He got as close to the stage as he could and just watched her, feeling seventeen again. She still had that effect on him. She turned her head slightly and saw him. For a second they just stared at each other and gently Kate smiled at him. Hope bloomed in his chest as he responded.

-----

He went back stage and was shown to the little office. More memories flooded through, of the time she'd left, of her determination to leave Newport Beach behind and seek out fame on her own. It looked nothing like it had back then. The furnishings were better that was for sure. He looked around at the bare painted walls. In time no doubt they'd be covered with posters or pictures. A desk stood beside him. Already there were signs of her presence, a laptop, phone, and other office type paraphernalia. He turned his head as the office door opened and Kate came through. She faltered for a second then seemed to take a deep breath and close the door behind her.

"I was told there was someone here waiting to see me," she murmured. He just shrugged. She took a step towards him and then stopped.

"I'm glad you came tonight," she told him.

"I'm glad I did. Mia is having a great time," a smile flashed across her face at the mention of her name.

"Good," An awkward silence stretched between them.

"I hate this," Ryan sighed. He looked at her.

"I hate this weirdness. I just want you to come back. All I know is that I love you and it's killing me not having you with me, with us" he told her in a rough voice. He took her hand and just held it, looking at it.

"Just say you'll come back? We can get married, or not, whatever you want. Just tell me that you'll come home with me," her eyes grew wider by the second. She took a deep, shaky breath. All the walls that she'd so jealously guarded began to crack; felt like they were beginning to crumble. She fixed him with a look, trembling, scared rigid.

"You said that you won't ever give up on me, that you'll always believe in me," she went into his embrace. His arms felt strong and safe around her.

"I won't…and I will…" she looked into his blue eyes.

"I need that Ryan, I need that strength," his expression was sincere.

"I know. And you have it, I swear" She took another deep breath and she smiled at him. Her heart was pounding in her chest. It was now or never, the leap into the great unknown and she was terrified.

"Then I'm willing to give it a try," she told him. A puzzled expression crossed his face.

"Give what a try?"

"Us. If you're still interested?" she asked and watched him smile.

-----

**EPILOGUE…**

**A While Later….**

Ryan looked up to the sky. Cloudless, a deep shade of blue, never ending, all encompassing. He heard a child's laughter and turned his head. Three-year-old Thomas ran around his older sister in circles, the breeze teasing his corn gold hair, his face wreathed in absolute mischief. Ryan just watched his son, smiling to himself. He watched Mia grab onto his hand to still him and the little boy did so.

The music began and automatically he looked to the stairs. His heart swelled in his chest as he watched Kate slowly make her way down. Behind her was Kirsten, who carried a baby girl of no more than six months old, Grace. Ryan swallowed. Kate chose that moment to look at him and she smiled. He smiled back and watched her walk towards him. From the corner of his eye he saw Kirsten take Thomas's hand and go to stand beside Sandy. He turned his head and smiled at Seth, who stood beside him.

Today was a special day, one that had taken a long time and two more children to come to. Today was their wedding day. Ryan watched Kate hand her small bunch of flowers to Mia before looking back at Ryan. She looked beautiful, her long hair left tumbling around her shoulders, and the ivory coloured dress that she wore was plain but beautiful all the same. Six months ago she had shocked him by proposing to him after Grace's delivery. He hadn't seen it coming; he'd been content with what they had and what they shared but he'd said yes the moment she'd asked him and here they were. A small beach wedding away from public scrutiny. Kate still attracted attention but not at the fever pitch that it had once been. She had gotten her wish and faded into the background, managing The Bait Shop and taking care of the kids. That was her lot in life now, she'd told him often enough, and she was happy with it.

It had taken her a long time to come to terms with her past. She had told him everything, her stepfather's controlling behaviour, his plans for her and her mother's complicity in it all. Initially it had made him mad enough to want to do some serious damage to him if he'd been alive in the first place, then the guilt had set in that he hadn't been able to do something to help her, that he didn't try hard enough to help her when he could but she'd told him that it was in the past now, it hadn't been his fault and to stop blaming himself. They had each other now and that was what was important.

The ceremony was brief and rings were exchanged. There was going to be a private party at The Bait Shop later. Ryan couldn't help but sigh when the marriage celebrant proclaimed them to be man and wife. Kate looked at him and she laughed, her eyes sparkling. He drew her into his arms and kissed her.

**THE END.**


End file.
